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care worker's boyfriend
| Support Forum > Relationships and Family > care worker's boyfriend |
| Dan Member Fri, 30 Mar 2012 11:39am | Next week my care worker’s boyfriend is coming to Canada and I am uneasy about it I have been wanting to have a relationship like that but now it will be in my face more I just had a meeting with my person I talk to and I could not say that Is what is bugging me I guess I feel embarrassed about it I know I need to talk about it but I don’t know how to start out | ||
| Support Team Administrator Sun, 1 Apr 2012 10:56am | Hi Dan, I'm hearing that you're apprehensive about your care worker's boyfriend arriving next week, and I'm guessing you're experiencing some dread and anxiety about it, too. It sounds like you've been hoping for a relationship for a long time, and now you'll have to see your care worker and her boyfriend together. I'm getting the sense that you're thinking this will be depressing to see, and it will remind you of how alone you feel. I imagine with all of these thoughts and feelings bottled up inside, you've been feeling pretty conflicted and sad. You mentioned having a meeting with the person you usually talk to, but feeling unable to talk about your care worker and her boyfriend. I'm hearing that you realize you need to talk this out, but aren't sure where to start because you feel embarassed about feeling this way. No one wants to feel lonely, and we really believe there is no shame in feeling the way you are right now. I'm hearing that you haven't mentioned the situation with your careworker and her boyfriend, but I'm wondering how much (if anything) you've told to the person you talk to about feeling alone and wishing for a girlfriend? Stay strong.... the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Mon, 2 Apr 2012 10:19pm | i have been thinking about this hole relationships that I am wanting because i see it all around me i feel that I can't get close to the care givers when i got close to the care giver i can only go so deep emotionally but they remind me that I am not their boyfriend i feel sad because I am wanting a girlfriend so I can talk deeply with but I feel that I have two Much emotional stuff so that is really getting me down as for the care givers boyfriend i feel that I can't talk about that because I feel that it is not appropriate for me as employer to talk about that with them it is feeling that I have only one option i have to keep doing my duty that is to be a job for care givers and i don't have a choice :(o | ||
| Support Team Administrator Thu, 5 Apr 2012 2:42pm | Hey Dan, I'm hearing that you are reaching out to the care givers around you, wishing you could have the kind of close relationships with them where you could talk about your deepest feelings and thoughts. I imagine it is really hard to always feel like you can't cross that invisible line into too deep of a friendship, and have to watch your words whenever you're speaking with them. I'm getting the sense you feel really isolated even when you're surrounded by your care givers, because of that imaginary line :( I know you've mentioned talking to some friends in the past - I'm wondering if you've ever told them about your feeling like a job to others? It sounds like being around your care giver and her boyfriend is stirring up a lot of negative emotions within you right now, and we really want to connect with you more about how you're doing today, Dan. I'm hoping you can make it in to our chat tonight so we can talk more about how you're feeling...we're thinking of you <3 the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Fri, 6 Apr 2012 9:16pm | It’s feeling that I can’t do anything to make the situation with the care people boyfriend it really feeling that I am having to accept that I have to be the job for people sometimes I wish it wasn’t that way because I don’t think I should be having these issues with relationship always getting in my face ya I can work to keep my mind off of it but I always go back there when I stop working | ||
| Dan Member Sun, 8 Apr 2012 3:44pm | Today my family has a dinner for Easter I always had a hard time with it because I feel that I am on the outside nothing new there well now they have girlfriends boyfriends and I just need to do my job and be quiet and I don’t want to go back to my place because of my care worker and the boyfriend I am feeling that I don’t have a choice and it feels that I am running in cycles I am so much in pain | ||
| Support Team Administrator Sun, 8 Apr 2012 7:12pm | Hi Dan, I'm hearing that Easter dinner is something you're really not looking forward to, because you often feel like an outsider when you're around your family. In addition, it sounds like there will be some boyfriend/girlfriend couples and you feel pressured to do your job and not say anything about it - pretend that everything is ok. I'm getting the sense that even after Easter dinner when you return to your own place, your care worker and her boyfriend will be there and you feel like all of these relationships are being rubbed in your face. I imagine it is so painful to be around other couples right now, because seeing them together reminds you of how alone you feel and how you wish you had someone to confide in. I'm hearing that you feel like your loneliness never ends, it just keeps going and the hurt feels really intense. It sounds like work is the only thing that keeps your mind off of your pain and loneliness, but that only helps for a little while :/ Thanks for posting, we're here for you Dan, the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Wed, 25 Apr 2012 10:23pm | Quick update I am up and Down emotionally because of the care worker thing and Girlfriend things and now they come together because a care worker boyfriend and it feels weird because of it i told a person what I am feeling and now i feel that I have lots of work emotionally | ||
| Support Team Administrator Fri, 4 May 2012 2:38pm | Hi Dan, Thanks for the update..it sounds like two of the things that have been on your mind the most (relationships with careworkers and wanting a girlfriend) have collided and I imagine that is creating some pretty uncomfortable conflict in your life. I'm hearing that you reached out and told someone in your life about your emotions...can you tell me how they supported you? And it sounds like you realized you had some work to do emotionally, if you'd like to write about what realizations you came to we'd be happy to discuss with you. Stay strong, the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Sun, 6 May 2012 9:40pm | Thursday I had a chat with the new talker and the girlfriend issue it was nice to get it out tonight i came to my place and they are talking on Skype don't wrong i am not saying that she can't do that just don't riub it in my face this feels really suicidal for me because i don't want to be in this position i don't see the light to this it is really up hard for me and i am more panicky tonight because i feel that I shouldn't be in this i go to my parents house during the weekends and that is when I feel a break which is the opposite from 5 years ago when I didn't want to be there because I felt I was being abused but now I have a different issue that I don't see a way out | ||
| Support Team Administrator Tue, 8 May 2012 11:21am | Hey Dan, I'm getting the impression that it felt good to release some tension and chat about things with the new talker. I'm sensing that you might already have a good connection with the new talker, and really feel like your problems are being heard :) It sounds like when you see your care giver talking to her boyfriend it brings up powerful emotions for you and you don't feel you can control them. Sadness, loneliness, and thoughts of suicide all seem to come up for you whenever you are reminded of how alone you are, and you believe that there is no way out from those feelings. I'm hearing that although you used to hate going to your parent's house because of the past abuse, these days it feels like a vacation from the way you feel when you're at your own place. You mentioned you were thinking about suicide when you saw your care giver and her boyfriend talking on Skype - it must have been such a feeling of depression and being alone. How are you feeling now, Dan? We're here for you on the forum and on chat whenever you want to talk <3 Stay connected... the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Mon, 14 May 2012 10:07pm | Yes i had a nightmare Saturday night i feel a bit alone because I don't have such a relationship that i can bear my emotions to ya i have my family but I had a past and bad feeelings and i feel the beginning started their for the bad emotions and I am just looking around me and feeling alone and unloved and i just see others in relationships and it makes my heart sad :( | ||
| Support Team Administrator Fri, 18 May 2012 6:11pm | heyy dan, how much hurt you feel thinking about not having an intimate connection is really clear in your post... your pain is so immense and unbearable... and not having any control over any of it makes suicide something you CAN control... i sense thinking about controlling your death provides you with some relief. i know some days it seems impossible, but im really glad you always find the strength to hang on. oh dan, my heart aches for how alone you feel, not only because you must see your careworker and her boyfriend together, but also b/c you dont feel like you can talk to anyone about how you feel about it! im really happy youre talking to us <3 you mentioned visiting your parents is a break, where before, going for a visit was more a source of pain and bad memories/experiences... what have the visits with your parents been like for you lately? it sucks your sleep has been disturbed as well - nightmares can be so upsetting! im sorry your heart is so sad, and wish we could do something more... but we are here with you, for you. and we really care about you and wish your life didnt have to hurt so freakin much :'( dont forget, if you run out of hope, there are people and resources who want to help... stay strong dan! the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Tue, 22 May 2012 10:03pm | Tonight the care givers boyfriend came over i am hurting because I am single and I don't have time to think about relationships even through all the things i have to go through i just feel that the problem will never go away i think back to high school and the emotional ride and I feel that the people that were involved in the abuse case at the home each day i remember how I wish I was more supported in the abuse case and the support faded away and they didn't support me then because they couldn't find anything i am just feeling Tired | ||
| Support Team Administrator Fri, 25 May 2012 4:52pm | Hey Dan, It sounds like seeing your care giver's boyfriend brought up so many painful emotions for you. I'm hearing that you were awash with loneliness, distrust in others, and exhaustion. I'm getting the sense that you felt really abandoned during the abuse case, and needed much more support than you were given. It must be so draining to be constantly reminded of the past, and feel like there's few people you can talk about it with in the present. I can really hear how fatigued you're feeling after all these emotions came rushing at you again, Dan...we're here anytime you need to talk. Stay connected, the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Fri, 1 Jun 2012 9:47pm | Feeling like everybody doesn’t care because I am very tired and I am thinking about relationship I guess I must want a relationship because I see it all around me and I am discouraged when I see other relationships the feeling like a job. You know I don’t like care giver because deep down a voice paints a picture for me that I can’t get over do I want to forget about it and IF I do I don’t feel that is right and I know it will keep happening without me knowing so maybe that is my only option I tried to work through it but I can’t. I thought if I had a girlfriend I could talk with I wouldn’t feel so alone but now I am not sure what to think summer is coming summers used to be hard but now I feel that my whole year is hard and unfair I feel like nobody cares for my feelings | ||
| Support Team Administrator Tue, 5 Jun 2012 2:55pm | Hi Dan, I imagine you feel utterly alone right now, and being so exhausted with life seems to be really increasing your feelings of isolation. I'm hearing that you keep wishing to be in a romantic relationship because right now your sole relationships with other people feel like you're just being a job or burden to them, and you are longing to have a deep and meaningful relationship with another person. You mentioned not liking your care giver because your inner voice paints a picture - can you tell me more about that picture or image you see? It sounds like you used to dread summers because they were a particularly difficult time for you, but recently each day seems to blur together and feel hard. I can hear how abandoned and disconnected you're feeling from everyone right now, Dan...thanks for staying connected to us when you're feeling so alone. Stay strong... the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Wed, 6 Jun 2012 9:53pm | the pictures inside are so painful i will try writer them I feel like giving up because i see that it is this way of feeling like a job, wanting a girlfriend and the daily stresses that I feel nobody cares and i will always be this way and I won't have the support i am longing for today was up and down because the care works boyfriend came today and that brought up painful feelings | ||
| Support Team Administrator Fri, 8 Jun 2012 10:40am | Hey Dan, It sounds like you are working very hard just to live every day and keep going, but you're feeling that no one in your life recognizes that or cares. I imagine sometimes it feels like there is a giant wall between you and other people, and makes it so that it's hard for them to understand your struggles and pain. I'm hearing how much you crave the understanding and caring of others, but the wall keeps getting in the way. I'm also getting the sense that you had a rough day after seeing the care worker's boyfriend, and your feelings of isolation and stress were strengthened. We're here for you Dan, and we can truly hear how much hurt you've been experiencing *hug*. the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Sat, 9 Jun 2012 4:29pm | Saturday is the rest of the week or should be but I don't feel rested today i helped at operation track shoes and i saw that care person that I let go because she was making me upset because she did everything by the book making me feel like a job after i saw her i saw all the care people why is it this way that they have to be paid i understand why but it does not feel right no matter what I said I can't make it better | ||
| Support Team Administrator Mon, 11 Jun 2012 4:26pm | Hey Dan, I'm hearing that the weekend was really exhausting for you instead of rejuvenating...I imagine seeing your old care worker while you were helping at Operation Track Shoes brought back some painful memories for you, and may have been startling. It sounds like you are really torn apart when you see your current and former care people...part of you understands why they are getting paid, but then part of you doubts how much they care about you and whether they are just there for the money. I can hear your worries about whether they are sincere or just going by the book and have no emotional attachment to you or others receiving their care. My hunch is that these doubts and worries are exhausting and overwhelming...I hope you will find some time for rest soon, Dan *hug* Stay strong... the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Mon, 18 Jun 2012 9:55pm | this past isn't just what happen years ago but it is terminating me because I think of all the pain i go through on a dayily bases i feel that I have to go tthrough 2the next stag and i just want everything to feel that I don't need to hide my true feelings tomorrow the boyfriend is coming and I am nervous and upset because I want a relationship like that | ||
| Dan Member Tue, 19 Jun 2012 8:05pm | tonight I am feeling so lonely even if i have people yelling behind me i feel that I have a dirty and nobody cares about my feelings they are talking their language And it is very lonely i just talked to a friend she said i need help but I feel that I am having second thoughts because I am really hopeless and I have thoughts of giving up i am having a panic attack and i feel that I have feelings that nobody can understand | ||
| Support Team Administrator Wed, 20 Jun 2012 2:30pm | Hi Dan, I can hear that for you, the deep pain you feel doesn't just exist in the past - it's an everyday battle that you have to fight. It sounds like you are aching to be able to express your thoughts and feelings, but you don't feel free to do that. I'm getting the sense that every time your care worker's boyfriend comes over your feelings of loneliness get stronger and you feel like you'll never be able to have a relationship like that. I imagine when it feels like everyone is talking in a different language, you end up feeling like an outsider and like no one can understand your true thoughts and experience. I can hear that your friend is very concerned about you and said you need to be connected to help. How did it make you feel when she said that? Stay connected... the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Thu, 21 Jun 2012 9:37pm | That is a very big question I guess I felt when I heard that from my friend I felt very lonely I feel like I was wanting help but I have done the counselling I feel I am a always going to have these thoughts of suicide and it is hard when people that I used to chat with I have a wall between me and support | ||
| Support Team Administrator Wed, 27 Jun 2012 1:05pm | Hey Dan, It sounds like there was a tug of war within you when you were talking with your friend about needing help. Part of you desperately wanted help and agreed with what she said, because you feel so alone and really want to reach out and connect with support. But part of you guessed it might be useless to talk to someone about this, as you have in the past and it hadn't helped. I'm hearing that it feels like there's an insurmountable barrier between you and other people, and it's hard to connect on a deep level. I imagine it sometimes feels like you're alone on an island, dealing with your pain by yourself with no one else to rely on. I want to give you a big hug right now Dan, and encourage you to keep reaching out. We really care about you, and are really proud of you for being persistent and continuing to chat with us and others in your life. Your life has value and we're glad you continue to fight to keep living. Stay strong.. the Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Thu, 28 Jun 2012 8:31pm | I really was thinking that I have a really hard life emotionally i feel that I have to put it inside i was thinking if I was in a real relationship would I magicly feel good the answer is no just the past is too painful to expect someone to be with me I e-mailed the friend last week but no reply yet i was talking about boyfriends and girlfriends and my wanting for that relationship | ||
| Support Team Administrator Sun, 1 Jul 2012 11:15am | Hi Dan, I can hear how heavy that weight above your heart is feeling these days.. it sounds so exhausting to be constantly forcing it down and hiding it from the world. I'm sensing that not hearing back from your friend left you feeling isolated and that weight seem even heavier. No one should have to carry that kind of pain around all alone. It sounds like the thoughts of a girlfriend were giving you hope that one day things'll get brighter.. I'm hearing how badly you want someone to hear where you're coming from and walk with you on this journey to find that brighter place. I'm sensing though that you're beginning to question whether you deserve that kind of relationship because of all the pain that you're carrying around... I truly believe that everyone deserves love Dan. I see so much more in you than just this pain - your strength, for one, is so inspiring. I'm so glad you continue to reach out to youthspace, and can express some of those terrifying and heavy thoughts here. We're hear for you as you continue to fight. We won't be responding to the forum until the 8th, but we'll be thinking about you this week Dan. You're always in our hearts. Stay strong.. The Support Team. | ||
| Dan Member Sat, 14 Jul 2012 9:55pm | today I am feeling tired physically and emotionally wanting a relationship ecause it is so much in my face where ever i go i will always have relationships in my life that I will be looking on the outside i feel that the females care people i will have are saying I can only go so far emotionally before it is inappropriate that hurts because everyone should have supportive people no matter what i need i just think that is wrong to expect me to bottle it up | ||
| Support Team Administrator Tue, 17 Jul 2012 10:45pm | Hi Dan, I'm hearing how completely drained you are from carrying around so much pain all on your own.. I imagine that this huge weight can seem to be on the verge of crushing you at times, and whenever you see someone else in a relationship, it feels like another blow to your heart. :'( Adding to this weight seems to be a feeling that you're walking on thin ice, between wanting and needing that support, yet not wanting to overstep these emotional 'boundaries' that don't seem to make much sense or be very clear... It sounds so stressful. No one deserves to be alone with pain like yours Dan. I can hear how much strength it takes to continue fighting for your right to be heard and supported... we're definitely 'hear' for you to let out some of those tough emotions you're forced to keep inside. Stay Connected, The Support Team. | ||
| Dan Member Wed, 1 Aug 2012 9:58pm | So many emotions i have around being in a relationship i guess i am never on one hand but I'm lousing hope because I am in a wheelchair i think as the idea of me in the relationship it will never happen i see all the relationships around me and I have a overwilling emotion that I feel that nobody cares | ||
| Support Team Administrator Thu, 2 Aug 2012 8:06pm | Hey Dan, I can sense how incredibly lonely you're feeling. You look around and see relationships and happiness; I can only imagine how bitingly painful it must be to wonder if you are forever separated from that life. I get the sense that you cling to the idea of a relationship as a way to feel a connection to someone in a way that the caregivers cannot be there. It sounds like you feel desperately sad, and simply want someone to be there for you who doesn't see you as a job...someone who is just there because they care deeply about you. You have been through so much and deserve to be heard. Stay strong, Dan. I hear how hopeless and black things seem, and how painful it is to have reminders of other people's relationships around you constantly. We are beside you as you cope with the mess of emotions that you're feeling. The Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Thu, 2 Aug 2012 10:15pm | I am feeling bad tonight i see that I will always have a single life with all these care people because I feel leaved out Shouldn't I have the opportunity to feel loved more than just a job I feel that I have to suck it to be the job that i have to do this thing that it seems to be requirement for a disabled person and I feel that I am no i know that I am the only one that feels like a job i know i can't be sure that I am It feels that way | ||
| Dan Member Fri, 3 Aug 2012 9:42pm | Sitting here thinking about my emotions, well tonight my mom made a comment about the care workers boyfriend and I just found it odd that more and more this problem is coming up it is not just this care worker but every one for a while as long as I can remember I felt that my parents are making me think that I am not i know they mean well but i feel when they do that | ||
| Support Team Administrator Sat, 4 Aug 2012 7:12pm | Hello Dan, It sounds like things are very bleak for you right now. Your words tell me that there's a wave of hopelessness and frustration rising above your head. All around you, people are going about their lives in a way that leaves you feeling not only left out, but also like an obstacle...like they just want you to cooperate and be easy to care for, without really thinking about what you feel and think. You DO deserve to feel loved, and not just like a job, Dan. I can hear how desperate you're feeling, though. I imagine that you must be feeling pretty trapped as well, especially since the care worker's boyfriend keeps coming up in your life. It's like the idea of a relationship is lurking around every corner, ready to ambush you emotionally. I wonder if you have been able to express to anyone else how you feel about this problem? I can tell that it is a sad and lonely time. We are here to support you, and to listen. Hang in there, Dan. Take care and stay strong, The Support Team. | ||
| Dan Member Thu, 10 Jan 10:20pm | I just had a bad feeling you see last week I e-mailed the friend I had coffee with and her boyfriend in the email I was talking about the deep feeling of sadness because she pushes the relationship that she is happy I remember when I had flashs backs when she was a good support my only support at that time it was and is painful to keep everybody is leaving when I need her the most I know that I have lost her and now I think about my current supports they will go to | ||
| Support Team Administrator Sat, 12 Jan 9:24pm | Hi Dan, I’m getting the sense that things were going okay – or at least you were feeling like you have some supports in your life, but emailing that friend left you overwhelmed with fear about how things are changing in your friendship… which just brings on the worries about the other supports in your life. The isolation that anxiety brings seems intense – and leaves you feeling like you’re all alone, even in a crowd of people? :’( I’m inspired to hear how hard your fighting to express yourself and these overpowering fears and feelings of loneliness… I’m curious if you’ve been able to hear back from your friend in response to what you told her? Know that we are here for you too Dan. <3 Stay connected, The Support Team. | ||
| Dan Member Mon, 14 Jan 7:44pm | Tonight I am thinking I need a change yes I am moved out of the parents two years ago this Thursday but really emotionally I feel the same yes I know independents is good but I still have the job feeling and now dating boyfriends or girlfriends on top of that I have to get a tooth pulled in the hospital and I feel abit betrayed because now they care where was the hospital when I felt suicidal so I am abit mad and sad | ||
| Support Team Administrator Wed, 16 Jan 12:48pm | Hey there Dan, Seems like this Thursday marks the anniversary of 2 years of living in “independent” housing, yet it will also act as a reminder of how far from “independent” you feel :( I can totally appreciate the frustration you feel over the medical attention your tooth is receiving. I get the idea that you feel misunderstood – where was the help and support when you were feeling suicidal?! I can only imagine how painful it is to be surrounded by medical staff and supports that don't fully know the depth of your pain. I can hear the strength of the anger and sadness that fills you when you think about how fast people are to jump up and help when your physical body needs help…and how absent the support is when your mental/emotional wellbeing is struggling. I’m really thankful that you know that we are here for you in those moments <3 You mentioned that you might need a change…what kind of change are you thinking of? Sending a cyber hug, The Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Thu, 17 Jan 9:51pm | tonight before the meds i was thinking about that formal i went to last week for a old classmate are what if that was me died it was a good eye opener because I still have suicidal thoughts for the girlfriends boyfriends and I just feel that I am something outside of relationships and it is like i can't be in a emotional relationship with people i am saying that when every single care givers went we get to close it is like when they shut the door and i am abandoned | ||
| Support Team Administrator Sun, 20 Jan 5:54pm | I'm hearing that the reality of death really hit you hard last week. Grieving your old classmate at the funeral was a reminder of how final death really is...and I'm thinking that this impacted you deeply because of the suicidal thoughts you sometimes have. You are so strong to share these thoughts with us Dan. Are you thinking of suicide today? It seems like you feel truly excluded from emotional relationships that others around you are in. I can really see how profoundly it hurts when care givers leave after getting so close. I'm wondering if you internalize this abandonment, and feel unworthy of love? I want you to know that you deserve to feel loved and appreciated everyday Dan, you have a beautiful soul. Stay strong. the Support Team. | ||
| Dan Member Mon, 21 Jan 8:46pm | well overall I have good thoughts in the past 24 hours but I do feel the bad thoughts coming i understand that I have been feeling sad that my friend hasn't e-mailed and it is so painful to know that people are going to do that no matter what i say i am sitting here with my care person and her habitat and i just am sad i know everybody feels this way when then are single but it is very in front of me because I need support physically and the care people are in relationships and i feel like the third wheel and I thought I could fix this with my own relationship but I am having a hard time being hopeful :( | ||
| Support Team Administrator Tue, 22 Jan 10:35pm | Dan, My heart goes out to you. I get the sense that you can hear the wave of pain coming before it hits, and that even though there are things that feel okay right now, they are tainted by the feeling that things might go very dark again. I’m really hearing how for you, having a care worker who seems to care is a great comfort, and becomes something that you emotionally rely on, and that when the care worker has their own relationship, it leaves you feeling deserted and left out… I get the sense that while you’re getting lots of support physically, there’s a storm of emotions inside of you that gets a whole lot worse when you have to watch other couples around you. What are your emotional supports like, Dan? Hope sounds like something that is hard to find sometimes. Is there something you’re hopeful about this year? We’re sending you our love Dan. -The Support Team | ||
| Dan Member Tue, 29 Jan 7:55pm | what i really want is a girlfriend so can have somebody to to talk to and hug when I need it This week I am doing ok overall I still have the feeling like I will always be single now I know there are lots of people single there is that and I am going to my parents houses because my helper got hurt and can’t help me for a couple of days or so I feel the sad because of that feeling sad but not sure why: ( | ||
| Support Team Administrator Wed, 30 Jan 8:05pm | Hey Dan, I get a sense you're feeling abandoned by your care worker, and that although you understand she has to take a couple days off for her injury you also are going to miss her while she's gone. I would guess that she is one of your most consistent supports, and her time off has really made you question whether you will ever have someone like a girlfriend to be there for you. How are you feeling about being at your parents' this week? I'm wondering what other supports you have for yourself right now, Dan? Would you be interested in hearing about new resources to try for support? We're so glad you are staying connected here, let us know if we can help you explore other connections too. Take care, the Support Team. | ||
| Dan Member Tue, 12 Feb 8:16pm | This week I have been good overall I am busy with school I had a couple of tests this week and it had good stress that keeps my mind off the suicidal thoughts I just feel that I have a very dark past that I need to let it go even when I feel that I can’t some days I am thinking about my friend that I have heard nothing on the email I start about her boyfriend when I think about it it makes me cry I am going to have to try my issues myself because I can’t get away from life well I could but nobody listens to me anymore | ||
| Support Team Administrator Thu, 14 Feb 2:58pm | Hello Dan, It’s so interesting how sometimes even stress can be good when it takes our mind off of things… It sounds like you’ve been able to lose yourself a bit in school and put some distance between you and thoughts of suicide. I’m just guessing here, but it sounds like it’s also helped you get bit of perspective and made you wonder if you would be able to move past those thoughts in some way? The dark past that’s following you must feel incredibly heavy sometimes, Dan. I’m hearing how you want to push it aside, but sometimes can’t seem to escape the feelings at all. :( Those must be difficult and heartbreaking moments. And I get the sense that it’s hardest to draw your thoughts away from suicide and darkness when you feel deserted…It’s really wounding you that your friend has not replied to your email, and I’m wondering if it’s getting hard to trust people as supports? I really respect your view that you have to try your issues yourself, although it must seem painful too, because it sounds like part of the reason for taking things into your own hands is because you feel like no one cares enough to help? I can hear how deeply isolating that is. Keep in touch Dan, we’re here to be a virtual shoulder to cry on. <3 The Support Team | ||
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