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trying to figure out a way live
| Support Forum > Suicide & Self-Harm > trying to figure out a way live |
| youllthinkofme Member Fri, 6 Nov 2009 2:05pm | So I am 16 now, when I was 11 years old I started self-injuring*, restricting food, and had my first suicide attempt. For the past 4/5 years it has been an on and off periods of depression. Last spring while away at boarding school I hit an all time low, I couldn't concentrate in classes, I had started self-injuring* again(hadn't in the past year before that) multiple times a day, almost every day. *. My best guy friend found out soon after I started self-injuring* again because I had used his money to buy tools after spending a months of my allowance in about 2 weeks time buying drugs*. He was really supportive and would stay up with me at night just trying to calm me down, he told the school councilor about what was going on. He was really the only person I could be 100% honest with and tell him how I felt and that I wasn't okay. This went on probably from the end of April to the end of school(late june). This year when we got back to school everyone just kind of acted like nothing happend and that in the 2 months of summer I was all of a sudden fine and not having urges and struggling with live and the feeling of wanting to die. My best guy friend told me that he could no longer be friends with me being that it was grade 11 year and he had to focus on his studies and not be worried about me. Now I am just stuck feeling the same way with no one to go to and slipping down the same slippery slope with nothing to stop me. *edited by The Support Team for explicit content. | ||
| Support Team Administrator Tue, 10 Nov 2009 3:41pm | Hi youllthinkofme, We're glad you posted on the forum... we're worried about you. We get the sense you are feeling really alone and isolated because of how you feel a lot of the time - like no one understands you (or even tries to understand you)? Losing your best guy friend as a result of how you've been feeling must've been really really hard... like the one person you thought understood really didnt? You mentioned that he talked to a school counsellor about what was going on, and we were wondering how that went? Having people to talk to is so important when we're feeling really dark, and empty, and alone. Is the counsellor someone you could see yourself talking to about what's been going on lately? Or, if not that person, has there been anyone else you've thought of talking to about how you've been feeling? You mentioned that you've dealt with these feelings for a long time... we're wondering what sorts of things have been helpful to you throughout the years? Has anything worked to lessen your feelings of suicide and self-harm? We understand that you want help to stop from sliding down this really scary slope, but that you're not sure who to turn to (or even what that help would look like)? We want you to know that you are not alone (even though it feels that way) and that there is help available. Reaching out here is a big step in getting connected to helping resources. We're wondering whether you've used Youthspace's chat service? The website posts chat times on the calendar so there are different times when you can connect with someone. We're not sure where you're writing from, but if you're in Victoria and would rather talk to someone, you could also call the 24hr support line <250-386-6323> if you need to talk to someone right away. Stay strong, youllthinkofme, and stay connected... we're here to help. the Support Team | ||
| Isabel Member Sun, 17 Jan 2:39pm | You are never alone. Yes, it does sound strange, completelly silly, but that is the truth. Notice, first of all, that the world is huge and we don't really know that many people. Until a few seconds ago, I had no clue about you - and now, I feel this care inside of me, while I'm writting these lines, right now. I actually thought "You are not alone ...", with my throat 'all tied up'. The world is so big oh my, and no, I have no clue wich ghosts and demons haunt the people I pass by on the street, or the people that talk to me on chats from the other side of the world. I have no clue. It's like we are all isolated from eachother, socially living our act of perfect and normal life. Until you take the step you did - let us know the world that lives inside of you. With all the 'goods' and the 'bads', the bare truth your heart needs to yell. And now we are here, and you are not alone. Not anymore. Listen, do you think it's possible that maybe your friend is having some trouble at his house, family, etc? And that maybe he didn't wanted to worry you, and doesn't trust anyone else enough to talk about it, so he just keeps holding it inside, all to himself? Because I don't see why he would be such a good friend, and care like he did, and all of the sudden act the way he did, just because of studies. But then again, I don't know him. What do you think? :) ~Isa | ||
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