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  • #16385

    morge18
    Member

    I have a controversy problem here.

    You may agree or disagree, or just neutral on this controversy problem. It’s more complex than, let’s say, the parent of a 2 year old gives their son/daughter cocaine because the birth mother used and that little child has to take that drug and wean off of it under medical supervision. Let’s just say, I’m in what you would call a, “sexual relationship,” but it’s complicated than that. I have a “fuck buddy,” “Friends with Benefits,” ‘Friendship,” but then it gets more in-depth, I’m a heterosexual. Sometimes I am completely Asexual than other times I am not Asexual.

    *Content removed

    I fell in love like I mentioned before, I’ve never felt that way with anyone, feeling; safe, secure, protected, feeling of warmth. I can’t lose him. He and I would never last, we’re just `fuck buddies,“ “Friends with Benefits,` and “Friendship.` No strings attached. For me there is strings attached, because I have deep emotions for this person and here is the controversy problem here; he is 20 years older than I am.

    Some days, I want to end up pregnant with his child, other days I don’t. I can’t walk away from him. **Content removed

    We never use protection, just the withdrawal method, but… I may fall pregnant. It happened so fast. He pulled out but I believe some got inside of me, *Content removed.

    He doesn’t want kids, he has a daughter and at this point he has tried everything to just talk to her but she wont so he doesn’t care anymore. If I fall pregnant, which in fact- I don’t know how I would feel about it, I don’t want him to think I want his money. It’s not about money.

    Which then also goes into another controversy issue and my opinion to him, he doesn’t believe it. I’ve had conversations with him and his roommates about how women get into a relationship and after the 6 months or something, they have rights of half of whatever the male owns, including business, house, money, items, etc., and they take half. I feel our society that does happen but it’s wrong on all levels. I’ve expressed why should I take something away from someone who has worked hard on and then leave nothing left for that person. It’s like child support, if someone pays they should have a right to see their child, but that doesn’t always happen. To me, this doesn’t make sense why someone would do this. His roommates and himself basically say girls are in it for the money and if something doesn’t work out they want more than half of everything because they have the right to it, its true but its not right. If I fall pregnant with his child I don’t want his money, Id rather him be there for the child and me, money doesn’t buy happiness and he thinks money is everything. If I do end up pregnant, I wont ask him for money, I would ask him to be apart of his or her life.

    Yes, I have a full time job and get above minimum wage because I work overnights so I make the same as what the supervisors make. I get by fine or barely but, money has caused me grieve not happiness. I barely get anything for myself; it goes to bills for my own survival. Come Fall 2013 going to College and with that, will be endless bill payments.

    1) How do you explain to someone all you want is for him to be apart of the child’s life and its not about money
    2) How can someone let go of someone they love when it will never work out
    3) Why does money have to be the end of all things- women wanting everything because the male was an asshole so they take everything they worked hard on
    4) Why is there dumb laws that say, you pay this much every month but you don’t have rights to see your own child
    5) Why is there even child support from the begin with

    I know these are controversial questions, I’m having a hard time understanding.

    *Edited by the Support Team due to sexual content
    **Edited by the Support Team due to aggressive/hateful content

  • #18634
    Youthspace
    Youthspace
    Moderator

    Hey DashingDaisy,

    I can hear what an incredible impact your relationship is having on you right now, and how multifaceted it has become despite your intention to keep it “no strings attached.” I would guess you are torn between your fear of becoming pregnant and the implications of that, and your desire to be closer to your partner and the child you might have together. I get a sense your feelings for your partner are deep and pure, and the thought of complicating things with money is despicable to you.

    I can also hear in an edited part of your post that you feel a tremendous amount of anger and fear towards someone in your partner’s life who seems to be trying to sabotage things that are important to him (and you). Do you feel safe from this person, DashingDaisy?

    We’ve edited the sexual content out of your post to protect you and others who use this forum; there is a resource you can use to talk about your sexual concerns: http://www.scarleteen.com has message boards similar to ours, but with sexual health themes. I’m not sure if you’ve used them before?

    Stay connected…
    the Support Team

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