Oh wow, Dan.

I know that relationships are a very painful topic for you. I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling so deserted in the wake of this friend’s wedding. I can tell that it threw into your face all of the things that remind you of how alone you feel, as well as removing one of the supports to which you could turn. You look at the experience that your friend is having, and I can sense the pain radiating from you, the thoughts that roll through your mind.

I have no answers for you, Dan. I wish so badly that I did, because your mind must just be buzzing with all of those questions about marriage and sex, and loneliness. All I can really say is that we are here to hear you, and to listen to the pain and the thoughts. We haven’t heard from you in a while Dan, and I get that this has put you in a really dark place. Are you having many thoughts about suicide right now?

Sending love to you,
The Support Team

Dan,
It seems you are writing from a very philosophical place – I see you questioning the meaning of life, your location in the world and the job that you hold which gives you purpose. But I can see the profound sadness that this job brings you; you feel that it is your place in life to keep everyone else happy, yet you yourself struggle to find joy.

It makes my heart ache to think of you feeling unworthy of having a personal life Dan. You are so special and unique, and while I don’t have the power to change anything for you I hope you know that you do deserve to find love and happiness.

I get the sense that you feel trapped without any options right now – and I want you to know that we are here to Chat about options and connect you to resources if that interests you. Our volunteers are online 6-11pm everynight.

Hoping to hear from you soon,
The Support Team

Oh Dan

It sounds as though you’re struggling to keep a smile on your face but inside you’re crying out… it’s as if you’ve spent all of your energy to keep the house nicely painted but the foundation on the inside is rotting and crumbling around you without anyone really seeing the damage. I’m so sorry to hear that this care worker left you feeling abandoned and I truly appreciate that you take the time to share your feelings with us here at youthspace.

I can hear how heavy the darkness is becoming around you and how loud those thoughts of suicide are ringing inside of your head… I also hear though that there is a part of you still wanting to fight to stay alive. I’m wondering what keeps that part of you fighting to live? We are here to listen to you Dan and I hope you’ll chat in with us one of these nights if the feelings become too much to carry alone.

The Support Team

Dan,

I’m so sorry to hear that the last few weeks have been so filled with painful blows. I can hear how seeing the way that the care worker just cut off contact was a huge, ugly experience for you; it seems to feed right into the feeling you have of being “just a job” — like if you mattered more to people, then they would feel it important to keep a connection with you — even if they weren’t being paid to do so. :’(

If I’m reading it right, for you, your parents are a stabilizing force and things have become a little more manageable with them back? I can hear though, that that doesn’t change the feelings, and that you’re still painfully aware of the romantic relationships of people around you. You look at the girlfriends that your brothers have, and you feel sadness and loneliness as you wonder if you will ever have that chance.

How are you coping right now Dan? Things have been high and low a lot for you lately… We’re here for ya.

The Support Team

Hey Dan,

It sounds like you’re feeling things pretty intensely at the moment and some part of you wants to share all of this with the people in your life and yet, at the same you’re reluctant to do so because you’re scared sharing how you feel with people won’t really bring you the support you’re looking for or even worse, they won’t care.

I can hear how alone you feel and how much you’re longing for meaningful and loving contact with someone. I can imagine that riding that roller coaster of ups and downs is pretty draining and it would be a welcome relief for you to have someone you cared about who cared about you, be there with you through it all.

If I am reading it right, I get the sense that though you feel better when you’re taking your pills, you’re worried that your medication is simply masking your unhappiness. I’d imagine that might make you feel even more despairing, to think that even your moments of happiness aren’t real.

I am glad you felt able to share how you’re feeling, Dan and we’re always here to listen to you.

The Support Team