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Youthspace.ca Online and Text Chat Forums Relationships I just don’t get it…

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  • #16452

    Shuro
    Member

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years now. We’ve been through hell and back, and just recently dealt with a pregnancy where I had an abortion. I wanted the baby, he didn’t. We live together currently and since the abortion haven’t been able to stop fighting. A couple of days ago he asked for a break, to take a few steps back from each other and “work on ourselves first before we try fixing our relationship” I’m not understanding how this is supposed to work. How does one fix a relationship by putting more distance in between you two? Isn’t that counter-productive? Is this something we’re going to have to face every time we run into a problem? Just give up, give each other space and it will magically fix itself?

  • #19049
    Youthspace
    Youthspace
    Moderator

    Hey Shuro,

    I get the sense you’re feeling very betrayed by your boyfriend asking you for a break in your relationship after you already made the sacrifice for him to terminate your pregnancy. I would guess that you’re still reeling from the stress the abortion put you through, and to be left alone in this time is so hurtful for you. Is there anything you’ve been able to do for yourself that helps you cope with all you’ve been through recently?

    It sounds like you’re very skeptical that this break will help your relationship, and infuriated that he would think time apart is more helpful than time together. It seems to me that you’re angry with him for distancing himself and robbing you of the chance to work things out a team. I imagine it’s scary for you to feel him pull away in this difficult time, and to wonder if he might give up on you completely. I imagine he’s been an important component to your supports these past six years…do you have anyone else you can turn to for support during this break?

    We’re glad you came here to talk about it.

    The Support Team

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