March 9, 2014 at 9:32 pm #16466
I was frustrated at my mom for being really late to drive me to my friend’s birthday party. I started getting frustrated at myself for thinking to the worst possible scenarios of arriving late. I cried quietly for a little while we were in the car, and when we got there, i cried with sound and my mom got really mad and yelled at me for being selfish and inconsiderate as my dad now has two jobs and she complained that me and my sister weren’t helping out around the house enough. She told me to apply to OSAP for university and get a job so she wouldn’t have to pay for me anymore as i attend private school. She told my sister that she would cancel her piano lessons so that my dad wouldn’t have to work two jobs anymore. It’s really hard to listen to this. I know i’m in the wrong, but now i really hate myself and i think im really full of it. It’s really hard too, because I don’t tell any of my friends or people that I know about my problems at home. My situation isn’t even bad compared to alot of people, but I feel really alone and I hate having to burden my parents and my sister. Am I really selfish and self-absorbed?
March 11, 2014 at 6:19 am #19128
Welcome to the youthspace forum.
I can’t tell you whether you were being selfish or self-absorbed. That would be a judgment of you, and we really don’t do judgments here. I think you have to decide for yourself where that line might lie. I CAN say though, that it’s okay to have feelings like you were having. It’s okay to be anxious about what might happen if you are late showing up to someone’s event, and it’s okay to express those feelings. I’m sorry to hear that your mom got upset about you crying in the car. It sounds like it made you feel misunderstood. And I can hear that your stress was added to when she started talking about money issues and your dad’s jobs. I get the sense that what seemed like a small conflict became huge very quickly, and that it made you feel a great deal of guilt for being upset in the first place. That’s a lot to put on your own shoulders.
It sounds like with the way things are at home, you don’t feel like you have many supports for how you are feeling. I’m glad you came here to talk through that loneliness. As I said, I can’t tell you who is right or wrong, or make judgements, but I can hear and respect the feelings that you are having, and tell you that they are real and worth talking about (regardless of anyone else’s situation). We’re here if you want to keep talking about it.
The Support Team
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