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  • #16362

    Zebra
    Member

    im 17 years old, and the first thing i wana know. is am i legaly aloud to move out of my parents home and live on my own or with friends. or even someone eles’s family. i lived in ## for 15 years of my life and just recently have been relocated by my family to #. my life used to be amazing, had all my friends from kindergarten and everything was fine and dandy. but moving into # has been difficult. im homesick to the point of crying at night and i do not fit it here. i joined hockey for the very first time this year and already people are starting rumours about how i apperently “…”^ “…”^ and have ghanyrhia, everyone has treated me like shit and even my co workers at work walk all over me, i quit smoking 2 and a half months ago and im having terrible cravings. my stress is building up so much all i can think about all day is how much better life would be liviing on my own away from my family who all they do is yell at me for everything like when i got home today my mom called me f****** stupid for some reason i cant remeber why probly something about fingerprints on her nice new house. and all she does is yell at me for everything ive never had anyone to talk to and everything thats happend has been bottled up in my life, when i was just turning 16 i tried telling my mom about some things. and she yelled at me for telling her these things. i cant talk to anyone. no one understands me, my ahdh is to much at times my own friends cant stand me, i just cant get over this feeling on not beloning anywher and id be better off dead. this is really just a small portion of my whole story. i just wana move out. im ready to support myself and finish my grade 12 year.i just cant take coming home stressed out and having my mom push me over the edge every day. its to much.

    #edited by the Support Team to protect anonymity
    ^edited by the Support Team for explicit detail

  • #18433
    Youthspace
    Youthspace
    Moderator

    Hey Zebra,

    I can hear how completely overwhelmed you are.. it sounds like this stress has been building up and up for a long time now, and you have no way to get any of it out. :( I’m glad you came to youthspace — we’re definitely here to talk about what’s on your mind.

    I’m sensing that before your move, you’d been managing to balance everything going on (friends, parents, school, work, adhd..), and even if things weren’t going that smoothly, they were manageable? Things really went downhill with the move though hey? I can hear how isolated you feel with no friends to turn to and get support where you are — especially when the people who are around you are gossiping such hurtful things behind your back. :’(

    To answer your question about getting your own place, you can legally move out in BC when you’re 16, but you could lose your right to financial help, and your parents might not be willing to support you financially either. I’m not an expert in legal things or anything though, so if you’re looking for more detailed info, I encourage you to call the Ministry of Children and Family Development (MCFD)… their number is 250.952.4707.

    I’m curious how you’ve been dealing with all this stress? It sounds like smoking used to be a way to cope, but you’ve worked hard to give that up… anything been helping you to quit? You mentioned that sometimes things get so bad, you think you’d be better off dead… i’m wondering if suicide has begun to seem like an option for you?

    We’re totally ‘hear’ for you to get out your bottled up feelings Zebra.

    Take care,
    The Support Team. <3

  • #18437

    Zebra
    Member

    Before i moved here i was pretty happy. there where things that bugged me but you honestly cant live without a little bit of poor treatment here or there. but they where perfect. all my friends where there, i was suposed to graduate with all my friends that i had known for almost 12 years. work was awesome i worked with fabulous people, and was respected. but in # i dont get that respect. honestly up here the people are alot different from #. there nasty, they say things to people i wouldent even think of saying i dont understand, as for the stress i did start smoking to melow out and it worked… for a while, because my mom has quit smoking for 2 years now it made it really hard on myself to continue such a nasty habbit. so i did it more for myself and just dealt with the stress how ever. usauly when its just something like a bunch of bad days at school id come kinda grumpy and get introuble for being grumpy which was annoying cause i felt like i could never relax. when im at work or in a situation where theres no just walking out i take deep breaths and think about how someones just being stupid and im better than that. this is really helpfull because ive always wanted to talk to someone and never had anyone and i dont wana talk to someone in person cause i usauly get choked up when i think of the stuff ive gone through in my life already. i appreciate it :D but todays the day i have to go and deal with the princables and counclers about the stupid bullying. hate confronting people about these things, i just hope things dont ecalate. unless the end result is i can go back to my old school :D maybe i should do that it would be an hour and a half bus ride everyday but maaaaan would i be happy.

    #edited by the Support Team to protect anonymity

  • #18446
    Youthspace
    Youthspace
    Moderator

    Hey Zebra,

    I imagine you were stoked on life when you were back in your hometown, enjoying your job and looking forward to graduating with your closest friends. Now I would guess it’s a double whammy to be yanked away from that perfect life against your wishes AND to be experiencing such horrible bullying and disrespect where you are now.

    I’m proud of you to hear how you’ve been fighting to cope in a positive way with everything that is happening to you, by staying smoke-free and using deep breathing and self-talk to keep yourself calm. I’m getting a sense that the things you normally use to cope aren’t feeling like enough, and that you are totally engulfed in grief for the life you had back home. I’m wondering how your meeting with the principals and counsellors went? I can hear in your comments that you are feeling despair about the future and what might happen if things get any worse; just to check in again, have you been thinking about suicide?

    You are always, always welcome here Zebra, I am glad we can provide you with an outlet when in-person talking feels like too much to handle. Have you tried our live chat? The Support Team is here from 6pm-11pm West Coast time every night. It’s another way we can be here for you without the intimidation of in-person talking, if you’re interested (although you are of course just as welcome on the forum!)

    Stay connected…
    the Support Team

  • #18448

    Zebra
    Member

    Things are getting better with the bullying, im still getting picked on but the princeble expelled 1 kid and suspended 4 others who where all kicked off hockey. hockey is more fun now. i havent really felt any thoughts of suicide, the only thing that sucks is people think im a rat, i feel like ive got a price on my head right now. kinda hard to cope with actually not feeling safe walking around town alone. things seem to better getting better, but life at home is still as stressfull as always. i really wish my mom would find a job. the place that where living in where just barely paying rent and grocerys are slim. so im slowly killing my self feeding on fast food all the time. and i feel like i need some away time from my family. i try and visit back home as much as i can and stay away for as long as i can but i always have to come back… i honestly dont wana be here. because of my family, but im not sure if i could handle school, my social life, and 30+ hours a week to pay rent. idk i got alot going on in my head,
    and as for the online calling sounds neat but i feel like i can say more and get more out just through text rather than talking and getting choked up plus my parents could hear and freak out so yaa hahah

  • #18456
    Youthspace
    Youthspace
    Moderator

    Hey Zebra,

    So glad to hear things are getting better with the bullying, although I would guess you’re wondering whether they really are better; it sounds like you’ve traded feeling safe at school for feeling unsafe walking around town. I imagine it’s getting harder and harder to come back after visiting back home. :S

    I can hear how important it is for you to eat healthy, and the junk food is adding yet another reason for you to not want to stick around at home. I imagine you’re wondering what would be more stressful….staying where you are now, or dealing with the pressures of independent living. I’m wondering whether you’ve been able to talk to anyone who could outline your options if you chose to move out on your own? I know we’ve listed MCFD as a resource, but if you would like us to suggest further resources for you just let us know :)

    I hear ya that speaking is so much more daunting than typing when it comes to talking about what’s most vulnerable in our hearts (not to mention the stress of parents maybe overhearing!!). Our live chat is actually ALL typing too, there’s no talking at all…it’s more like facebook chatting or text messaging back and forth with us (in fact, you can text us from your phone from 6pm-11pm too, just text 778-783-0177 and we’ll text back!). If you’d like to try it out on your computer, just click the “Support Team is Online. Click here to enter” link at the top right corner of our website (it will say “offline” and not be a link when we aren’t here, outside 6pm-11pm). We’d love to hear from you that way too, but if it’s not your cup of tea no worries, we’re HEAR on the forum too!!

    the Support Team

  • #18460

    Zebra
    Member

    Things are getting better, i really appreciate the help. i visited my home town over the weekend and saw a couple people who where excited to see me, it made me really miss home alot. i talked to my mom, and shes knows about the bullying so she said if she knew i was living somewhere safe with a friend that by next semester i could go back to victoria on my own. i think that would be fantastic, but alot of work i hope i can figure it all out soon. will see how this week at school goes. the kids that got kicked off of hockey will be coming back this week so it could get rough. and yeah some night ill probably give the instant messaging thing a go! :D

  • #18464
    Youthspace
    Youthspace
    Moderator

    Hi Zebra,

    I’m happy to read that you’re feeling a bit more positive about things :) Sounds like your mom really heard you, and ‘got’ how important it is to you to be back in Victoria… even though you’ll have a lot to do to make it all happen, I can hear how excited you are about the possibilities… yeah! So glad things are coming around for you – it’s great to hear great things! :D

    the Support Team

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