July 31, 2014 at 4:59 am #16481
My whole life took a turn for the worst when one day my friend and I got into a fight that ended our friendship. She became into a bullie and non stop picked on me, soon grade 8s and 9s were joining in the fun. I really started to hate myself I had a GBF (Guy Best Friend) that I used to have a crush on. He was sorry for me and tried to make her stop but she ignored all signs, sooner or later he told me that for some reason he had a crush on her. I’ve never cried so hard in my life that night, not long after I told him that I didn’t want to be friends with him anymore since he had a crush on a monster that he calls a “hottie”. It was the last day of school and I walked home by myself crying and wondering if I could deal with all of this drama, I got home and told my mom. She doesn’t like to see me sad so she told me to stop and suck it up. I don’t like it when my mom tells me that! About maybe 3 weeks later I iciolated myself from everyone else, I didn’t like it but I moved to a new place I knew no one and I was alone again. But one night I self-harmed* and I regret it…A lot. But tonight I had enough of talking to myself and I messaged my GBF trying to be friends again! I’m ready to try.
*edited by Youthspace for triggering content.
August 2, 2014 at 3:18 am #19222
Welcome to youthspace, I’m glad you came here to share what’s been happening for you. It sounds like you were really hurt when your GBF started crushing on a girl that has been really mean to you, and who has encouraged others to bully you as well. I’d guess you felt betrayed when he started to like her in that way, when before he used to defend you and try to get her to stop bullying you.
I get the sense that when your mom told you to stop being so sad, it made it harder for you to talk to anyone about how you are feeling in case they told you to suck it up too. I hear you that it’s frustrating and unhelpful to be told to just get over things that are making you hurt so much. It sounds like you’re hopeful that the new place you’ve moved to could be better, away from the bullies, but that you are also feeling lonely not knowing anyone there. How has it been after messaging your GBF? Do you have anyone in your new place you can talk to when you need support?
I imagine you scared yourself the night you tried self-harming, and are now uneasy with the thought that the drama became that overwhelming for you. Do you still have thoughts of self-harm after trying it? Know that we are here for you, you can tell us anything that’s weighing on your mind when it comes to self-harm (we might edit some of the words to make this forum a safe place for everyone, but we do read everything you say to us).
I’m glad you are ‘trying’ some new ways of coping, and reaching out when you need support. I hope we’ll keep hearing from you when you need us.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.