As I am really sad right now feeling that everybody has abandoned me as I walk through this war I think what is the point I need I should keep fighting but I realize that I have lost somebody close to me that kept telling me that I will never lose her well well I did I can’t trust people what am I fighting for to be alone in this world if I think it will feel better one day I am sorrly mistaken if I want to give up I should because I have gone through everything yes the medicine keeps good but is the real dan the effect of the medicine or is the real dan suicidal and if I am suicidal in taking the medicine I feel sad because I need the medicine to stay alive I feel it now at the end of this the message I feel abit better

Tonight I am feeling that nobody cares in this new person year I am feeling that it is the end of that my world as I know it it is like I am running on empty for a long time as I am writing this my grandfather wife is on her death bed and will die any hour and it is a funny thing as I am talking about dying upstairs she is dying lots of death in the last 13 dan hours or months well I am am really in over drive as I keep fighting this never ending war and nobody is there to just say good job keep going your almost there it is hopeless I don’t want to die but I can’t do this alone as I feel like I am