She sees a bountiful feast set upon a beautiful wood table within her reach, as she moves closer, she finds herself trapped behind a glass wall. She feels her way along only to realize she is in a box and there is no way out. Panic sets in and she watches as people take their seats, she screams frenetically, but she is invisible to them. They are busy talking and laughing, having a jolly time. She is left there to watch, she smashes at the glass, only to receive injured knuckles. She slides to the floor, hot tears burning her cheeks. The pain consumes her, then as if a switch flips inside her, eyes change and she stands up, looks at them and walks towards the table, the glass wall is gone and she goes behind the chair of the closest person, grabbing his plate, she dumps the hot contents onto his lap and then throws the plate and it shatters as it makes impact with the floor. Now they can see her, and with a smirk and eyes filled with dark mischief, she goes about terrorizing them, she destroys their wonderful dinner. And when her work is complete she struts away with her hand held high, her middle finger to the world. They will never love her, but at least they fear her. For to be feared means that she is seen. A monster is what they see, better to be seen then a ghost. As time goes she realizes that the more she cares about being near others, the more she is prevented from that happening, and when she doesn’t care anymore about it, then she can get as close as she wants.

Cruel she becomes, laughing at their pain, harsh is her words, with eyes filled with fire and ice, she burns them up in her mind, her heart is as hard as stone. Then one day she comes across a bundle and it starts to wail, she stares at it blankly then she is moved to action by instincts she never knew she had. She gently gathers up that babe in her arms and with a surprised expression, looks upon his face. The little one also locks eyes with her and reaches his tiny chubby arm out to her. A gasp escapes her lips, as the babe is unafraid of her, he seeks her closeness and affection. With soft tears flowing down her cheeks, she kisses his forehead and cuddles him close to her chest. This wee babe saves her, softness slowly returns to her heart. Within this monster is the heart of a mother, she becomes who she always was, a girl with a heart of love. The demons within her are tamed by that love, while they forever live with her, they no longer control her. For the sake of this babe, her babe, she becomes all that he needs her to be, for him she is willing to feel intense pain, so that she can be the mother he needs. Courage takes root and grows within, courage to be soft and tender, to hold onto goodness and love even know when it feels completely hopeless and despair threatens to gobble her whole. Once upon a time there was a girl starving for connection…..who knew that she would be fed through the caring and loving another. End.
(Feb 16 2018)