Forum Replies Created
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Dan,
You do sound really low energy, really numb right now. I get how even though your mood is better when you’re on the medication in the evenings, that it doesn’t change the enduring feelings that you have. It must be endlessly frustrating to fall in and out of the pain like that.
I can hear how futile it all feels — like you keep going, and going, and going, only to find more of the same frustration and loneliness. I can only imagine how tired you are of talking about the dan day, and the feelings that you can’t escape from. I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong in talking about it…and we’re here to listen (always)…but you would know better than us if it is helping at all. You say that you would like someone to give you a boost…what do you think that would look like for you, Dan?
You show an incredible strength, Dan, and we are here to support you anytime, even though it’s not the same as face-to-face.
-The Support Team
Hi Bri,
I get the sense that for the time being you’ve flown out of the turbulence and your aircraft is gliding along smoothly, just the way it’s supposed to… but that you don’t trust there isn’t another storm ahead that will shake you and throw you down towards the ground below. I’d imagine it’s a terrible feeling to be so unsure whether to trust these moments of calm or whether to brace yourself for dark times ahead.
I hope this calm lasts for you too Bri, and we are here to listen to what’s going on for you whether it lasts or not.
I’m so glad to hear that you want to keep posting on our site and I really want you to know that we absolutely care about you and want to offer any support we can both on the forum and through live chat in the evenings if you want a more immediate response.
The Support TeamOh Dan,
You weren’t ready for this year, but it came anyway, hey? I can imagine it feels like you’re running a race, but nobody thought to tell you how long the race was, and now you’re so tired that you’re wondering if there even IS a finish line.
I can tell that it feels like you either have to go off like the “ticking time bomb”, or keep going by putting yourself on numb autopilot. It sounds like staying alive doesn’t bring you much hope of a change anymore, especially since you’ve lost people that you care for in the last year. If you don’t mind me asking, Dan, is there anyone in your life who you can talk to about the feelings you’re having from losing people?
We are always here for you, Dan. I know that your heart is being dragged down by sadness right now, and as always, I invite you to share it here.
The Support Team
Hey Brit123,
I get the sense you’re feeling pretty hopeless about the future and are struggling to see how things are going to get for better for you. It seems like things are really piling up for you right now and the task of dealing with everything is starting to feel impossible and even, a little pointless. It sounds as though you’re feeling really fed up, fed up of feeling bad and fed up of trying in a reality that does not feel so real at all.
When you say,”Know one knows who I really am or what I really feel”, I can imagine how sad and alone you feel. I can really hear how much you’re longing to have someone really see and understand the real you. It sounds like you want to share who you are with someone who genuinely cares about you. I can imagine not having that connection fills you with despair and heartache.
From what you said, it sounds as though suicide is really weighing on your mind and I am worried about you. I am glad you’re reaching out to us Brit123, and we want to hear from you. You really do matter to us, stay in touch!
The Support Team
Hey Dan,
I can hear how hard it is for you to let go of someone who you valued so much and to start all over with some new, someone you don’t know yet. It isn’t every day that you find someone that you feel you can truly connect with. I imagine that good support is really hard to find and when they leave, it probably feels like you have lost a member of your family. Like someone/something in your life is missing. I get the sense that seeing them go leaves you feeling a little bit abandoned
.It seems like you are grieving the loss of a person that meant a lot to you and that you have grown a little attached to from the comfort that you felt in her presence. Seems like you feel that she really knew you well. I can imagine that it is frustrating to start from the beginning with someone else but I am hearing that the new person may also be good too and as hard as it is to let something good go, new beginnings may lead to anticipation of what it will be like, which could be good
.It seems that with mourning your past relationship, it is difficult to be excited about the new one. I am wondering if there is any way that you can think of to honor her as a way of saying goodbye and attaining closure from the relationship?
Thanks for your candid posts Dan, you are always in our hearts
-The Support Team
Hi Bri123,
Thanks for being so honest about your thoughts on ending your life. I can imagine it must be frightening to consider how painful such a process must be and I’m really happy to hear that you avoid triggering environments.I get the sense that you know yourself well enough to understand what works for you and what doesn’t. Sounds like you are resourceful at finding the right type of support to keep yourself from ending your life.
Seems like every day is a little bit different than the last for you, however, even on good days, the pain can creep up to remind you that it is still there. I can hear how hard you have been fighting to keep yourself safe during difficult times. I hope you continue to find sources of support when life throws a pile at you. Your ability to reach out in tough times is inspirational.
It is true and unfortunate that due to lack of funding we no longer can accept chatters from the US but please continue using the services that you are familiar with and work for you.
Our hearts are with you through your struggle,
The Support Team
Hi there Bri123,
Welcome to our forum. Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out and share your situation with us here at youthspace. I get the sense that these feelings of sadness and loneliness have been with you for a very long time and that you’ve been fighting a hard battle towards happiness that you can’t seem to win.
I can hear that your days are spent in isolation — even in places like school where you might be physically surrounded by others you are still somehow completely alone. I’d imagine that would be difficult to say the least since it sounds like you’ve done your best to reach out to those around you. I bet it would be difficult to try to carry on a “normal” conversation with anyone when your soul is crying out to be heard and loved.
I can hear how real suicide is for you Bri123 and it seems like you are doing everything you can to keep yourself safe but that maybe those things don’t feel like enough. Do you feel like you are still able to stay safe? I wonder if there are any strategies that help you when the urge to end your life arises? We are here to support you through this darkness — and we are also available by chat 6-11pm PST (and until midnight on Fridays and Saturdays) if you’d like to chat in real time.
The Support TeamHey Dan,
I hear you. It sounds like this mountain ahead looks impossible to climb from where you are. You know that you’re still emotionally drained from this last year, and the losses that you experienced, and that it will be harder than ever to make it through every day. An 8 is pretty darn high, and it reflects how little you feel ready to face this New Year, which could be so similar to the other years, another moment in an ongoing dan day. :’(
I can hear too, that the desperation to have someone there with you is SO strong right now, and that it feeds into the incredible heaviness that you’re feeling about starting this year. I can tell that not having your friend email you back is also wounding you very deeply, and reminding you of how disconnected you feel from people. I can only imagine how badly you want someone to really care about how you are, and how heartbreaking it is to see other people move on while you feel like you are stuck in the same moment, and the same pain.
Dan, this New Years sounds like it’s going to be awful for you. Thanks for letting us know about the fear and sadness you’re going through, and also that you are somewhat safe. Please chat in if you feel like you want us to help you more in the moment. You are very much in our hearts.
-The Support Team
Hi Dan,
I get the sense that you’ve just finished climbing a big mountain (getting through the holidays) and now you turn around and see an even bigger mountain in your path for next year and all the difficulties it will bring you. It sounds as though you are desperate for some peace in your mind but there is none to be found anywhere around you.
I can hear the desperation you feel as you long for a meaningful relationship like the ones your brothers have and I’d imagine it’s achingly lonely to feel you’ll never find that person who brings you a sense of warmth and comfort. I can hear how much it hurts you to be the ‘third wheel’ in those other relationships when you dream of having that for yourself.
I’m wondering what scale you’re using Dan that you’re an 8 on? Is that a scale of depression/sadness? I get the sense that without your pills your situation is feeling much more overwhelming as your thoughts spin faster and faster. We are here to listen to you Dan and to support you through the thoughts and the hurt.
The Support Team
