Hi KryptonicIris,

Welcome and thank you for posting on our Forum. It takes a lot of bravery to express yourself so openly and honestly.

I can hear how frightening it is to start a new life in a new country. I can only imagine the stress and pressure that comes along with such a major change. I am guessing that a new start like that takes a lot out of a person. It sounds like you are feeling very alone here, despite the few friends that you have made. I imagine that it feels very unstable and scary to have people in your life but not to know how long they might stick around for. It makes me think that sometimes you feel more like a burden to these new friends and that if you aren’t fun enough that they might leave you to be by yourself. That sounds really stressful on top of everything else that comes along with immigration:(.

It seems that you are feeling homesick and are having a hard time to stay focused and interested with all the missing and sadness that you experience. I can hear that you are wondering what your life would be like now if you had not left and at times you are doubting if you made a good decision to leave. Although, it seems that moving back home is not an option for you either since so much change has already occurred here and there. It’s like you’re feeling without a home right now, not quite here nor there. I can really understand how you may not know where you belong at this point with all these difficult changes and emotions:(.

I hear your desire for more courage and confidence, and I imagine that with all the changes involved with moving to a different country to start a new life, you may be unsure of yourself at times. It seems that it would take a lot of courage and confidence to make such huge changes in your life and you have been so strong to make it happen but now you want to feel like you belong here, and it is testing your courage and confidence more than ever before.

I am wondering what you do to cope in times when you feel depressed? Please know that you are always welcome to chat in if you want someone to talk to. We are open every day 6-11pm PST.

We are here for you! <img src="smileys/heart.gif" width="" height="" alt="<3" title="

Youthspace

Sophie,

I’m sorry that you continue to be stuck in a situation that feels so unhappy and unsafe for you. It seems like you feel as though you’re trapped, watching the same painful things happen at home again and again (and perhaps this is worsened by having to watch your little brother go through some of the same things that you endured?). I can hear how tired you are of this, Sophie, and how hard it is to keep fighting. I know that filing a report is not an easy move, and there’s no judgement here whether or not you did. Know that we’re here to support you through any feelings that might come up around reporting his behaviour, if you want to share them. <img src="smileys/heart.gif" width="" height="" alt="<3" title="

As for advice for dealing with feelings…we don’t really give advice, but I can say that our whole service is based around the premise that talking things out can help relieve some of the pain and help you discover your own solutions…so I invite you to use this as a place where you can vent openly and honestly about how you’re feeling right now. Right now, it sounds like the mixture of emotions that’s running through you is so complicated that you barely know what to do with it — would you like to tell us more about that? Feel free to use the chat service as a place to get some of the feelings out as well.

I don’t know if that really answers your question — I suppose the answer is that we’re here, and we’ll help you as much as we can. <img src="smileys/heart.gif" width="" height="" alt="<3" title="

Youthspace

Hi Ceoff,

Welcome to youthspace. I’m hearing that you’ve been supporting this girl through a few different issues and I’m getting the sense that you’re feeling unsure of how to truly help her given that it may be a totally normal teenage growth process or it may be something more that you don’t quite understand.

Here at youthspace we don’t give advice but we are here to support you as you navigate this journey of helping another person cope with life’s struggles. We are also happy to be a resource for her if she is interested in visiting us. In addition to our forum we also offer a live chat option between 6 and 11pm PST every night where we offer emotional support and can even give some resources if you are looking for further information on a topic.

We are here to support you Ceoff.

Youthspace

Hey Sophie,

I can really hear that you feel like fear is beginning to consume you, like snowball, taking everything it its path. I get the sense that you feel like the people you were once close with seem more and more like strangers with each day that passes, and that just adds more weight to the snowball .

It sounds like you fear what might happen if you continue down this path, especially when self-harm seems so viable. It seems that you are struggling to find a solution to hang on to what you still have with your parents. I can only imagine the pain that strikes you when you are reminded of the happy family that you long for.

Thank you for continuing to share your story with us. We want to keep hearing from you. Please remember that we are here for you every evening if you want to chat. Hang in there Sophie.

<img src="smileys/heart.gif" width="" height="" alt="<3" title=" Youthspace

Hi Sophie,

I can hear how beaten down you’re feeling now that you’re back in your parent’s house witnessing the same sort of behaviour you’d left behind previously. I’d imagine it would be a terrible sense of hopelessness to have returned to a place you once escaped from. I’m really grateful that you continue to share your journey here with us.

I’m sensing that you are truly afraid for your safety and the safety of your younger brother — it seems as though you have a special bond with one another and offer some support within the chaos of your environment. It’s really scary to hear that your parents continue to act so violently towards both of you and I wonder if there is anyone in your life that you might be able to reach out to now that some of your old supports are not an option? I also wonder if maybe someone who helped you from child services might be available to support your younger brother who is still in the age range of their services?

The image of you offering your brother a comforting hug is really beautiful Sophie, I get the sense that you have a very caring heart and that you would move mountains to ensure the safety of someone you care about. I hope that you are able to turn some of that caring inwards as well and show yourself some compassion as that dark world you mentioned begins to return.

We are here to support you Sophie, both on our forum and through our live chat every night. Also, I want to remind you that if you are afraid for your safety you can reach out to a local crisis line or 911 at any time of the day or night.

<img src="smileys/heart.gif" width="" height="" alt="<3" title=" Youthspace

Nie,

We’re so sorry that our call has caused you stress and anger. If you have questions about our obligation to report, please do contact us at [email protected].

We understand if you don’t feel comfortable sharing here in the same way that you did, and if you choose to delete your account. I’m sorry to think that we’ve left you feeling possibly betrayed and hurt, and I can understand if that makes it difficult to share. Know that if you ever do want to come back and talk, you will be welcome. We do care, and wish to support you however we can.

If you need somewhere to vent or talk but don’t want to post here or use our chat, you can also try out youthinbc.com (they have a live chat service and crisis line).

Youthspace

Nie,

I get the sense that you are angry and upset that the ministry knows about you and your story. I am going to be honest with you and let you know that yes, we did have to report the sexual activity between you and this older man. Being that you are considered below the age of consent this man’s involvement with you is considered abuse, and we have a legal responsibility to report all abuse.

We truly value your voice here, and want to continue being a place of support for you.

I’m sorry that we weren’t able to explain this to you directly, and would encourage you to access the live Chat (evenings 6-11pm PST) which may be a more appropriate avenue for these conversations. If you want to discuss this policy I encourage you to contact staff at [email protected]

I hope that you will continue to speak with us here. We care about you and your safety, and hope you understand that we have a legal responsibility to report abuse of this nature.

Here for you,
Youthspace

Sophiexx,

I think I can hear how lost you feel to be alone with thoughts that seem out of control and frightening in their persistence. It seems like the feelings take you on such a wild ride that you doubt whether anyone could ever truly understand what it feels like. And the truth is that it *is* difficult for any one human being to understand what another is going through. That’s why we encourage people to talk about things — besides just helping you sort out your own thoughts, it can help us get a little bit closer to understanding the pain, the confusion that you are experiencing. <img src="smileys/heart.gif" width="" height="" alt="<3" title="

From your words, I can hear that you are so uncertain about your own purpose and place in the world. What are some of the thoughts and feelings that are coming up for you when you talk about that?

I can hear how it’s a stretch of imagination to think that anyone might care about your safety if you yourself have trouble caring sometimes. Please know that we do care, and that we are here to support you when you feel like you’re lost.

Youthspace