Hi Talia Brook,
Welcome to youthspace! I can hear that you’re under a ton of stress right now… I’m really glad you came to talk on our forum.
It sounds like you’ve been trying to meet the expectations of those in your life for a long, long time now, but that every time you come close to that expectation of “perfect”, the bar just gets that much higher… it must get so exhausting to feel the never-ending pressure to work just a little harder, go just a little further — I can hear that it ends up feeling like you never ever get a break or chance to relax.
I’m getting that feeling too that lately, it’s gotten even more frustrating because it feels like you’re being squeezed into a really tight box of what others deem to be “perfection,” – but that that definition doesn’t fit too well with your own ideas of success. My sense is that you want to grow as a person and in new areas, but to do that, you need both time to relax and think, as well as the freedom to make mistakes… I’m hearing though that the pressure is so intense that mistakes don’t seem to be allowed..? :’(
On top of it all, I imagine that feeling like you’re disappointing people by not complying with their expectations really hurts your heart — and that it just adds to all the stress you’re under. Yet, it sounds like you don’t know how much longer you can continue pushing ahead on this path without a break.. Have you thought of any ways that you might be able to express how you’re feeling, and how that zone of perfection is impacting you? Is there someone in that list you mentioned that you’d feel safe trying to have that conversation with?
We’re here for you Talia Brook, take care.
The Support Team.