Hi Fallen Down,
I can hear how paralyzing your anxiety has become for you in your life and how helpless you feel in not being able to control your emotions in social situations. I’d imagine it was an awful experience to be meeting new people and become physically ill from the stress. It’s as though your mind and body have betrayed you and left you fighting a battle you don’t feel you can win.
I get the sense that the idea of attending school when you’re still reeling from the other night is a nearly impossible task for you — like you’ve been climbing up hill and suddenly you’re carrying a backpack filled with bricks.
I’m wondering if your boyfriend or anyone else is able to support you when you feel your anxiety taking over? While we can’t give you advice we are definitely here to support you through this difficult time. Our forum is always here for you to post to and we have an online chat service that is open 6-11pm PST every night if you want to talk to someone privately and one-on-one.
The Support Team