This morning I am really just feeling like I have got shot because I feel that death is knocking nobody is left to support me after such a hard year last year and I had to have to let a friend go even when I needed her I just don’t know what I am fighting for by the way the medicines are out of my system for the day so I feel life is harder to deal with without my pills I know it will get better I don’t have a choice because nobody wants to send me to the hospital no matter how sad and hopeless and suicidal I feel