Humans are very strange things indeed. If you ever truly figure them out, please let us know, okay? Because I know how it is to look at your own behaviour and find that you can’t make heads or tails of it.
And it sounds like you’re continuing to wonder at yourself, not only “why did I do that?” but also “I just know I’m going to do that again”. I can hear that part of your frustration comes from seeing that you’re likely to put things off again and again, in the same way that you have before. What you said at the end of your message made it sound like you’re running on a treadmill, trying to deal with your anger at yourself from things that you have let slide in the past, all the while fighting to keep from falling off of the stuff that is still coming at you.
I can imagine that the exam tomorrow might be pressing down on you pretty heavily today…because it sounds like even though you know it’s worth a lot of your grade, you’ve been simply unable to make yourself care about it, even though you want to. It sounds like your mind is running around in circles trying to sort itself out, as the minutes pass by that you could be using to study. I can imagine how aggravating that is. Know that we’re here if you want to talk about how the studying and exam go for you.
It’s great that you have dance to keep you sane — dancing can be a very feel-good thing to do, and I can tell that it’s important to you.
-The Support Team