Hello Anonymous 13,
I want to thank you for having the strength to share your story and to look for help. I can only begin to imagine the emotional pain that you have experienced both in the last year with the traumatic loss of your best friend, and now with her presence in your night terrors. It sounds incredibly agonizing.
I can hear how those moments from last year are still so alive in your memory — so vivid. And the pain that you felt then is still so vivid as well. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can see that your friend was hugely important to you, and that losing her was intolerable to the point where you harmed yourself in order to overwhelm the pain that threatened to overwhelm you.
The night terrors you describe are terrifying. The sadness of having to experience over and over these moments of being with her and then losing her, watching her fall and then waking up to find her looking as she did after her accident…it sounds like the most frightening and crushing feeling. I can see why you are losing sleep because of it — I would imagine that there are times when you fear sleep because of the thought of being paralyzed with these images of her that are so raw, and so real seeming.
My heart cries for your pain. You say that you don’t know if there is a counsellor in existence that could help, and I’m curious if you have tried to seek out professional help before? Is there anything that has helped you to cope with some of the stress and anxiety that is coming up for you as a result of the trauma and these night terrors?
We are very much here for you. Stay strong.
The Support Team