Oh Danielle, I can imagine it felt like such a huge setback for you the day you accidentally wore sandals to work. Sounds like you were starting to feel a little more calm and settled, and that the combination of being betrayed by your coworkers and lectured by your boss brought you right back to that anxious, uncertain place. I get the sense that when you forgot that one minor detail, it triggered that old, all-encompassing fear that you might not be good enough for this job, and that even though in your mind you know it wasn’t a huge deal to violate the dress code, your emotions are stabbing through your confidence with daggers of self-doubt.
It sounds like you really like the job you are doing, but when it comes to the team and how it’s organized you feel a little let down. I imagine it doesn’t help your anxiety to sense you’re not being well-trained, and that it might feel as though every task you’re not totally sure on is a test or a trap to set you up to fail. It seems to me that you feel very vulnerable to your anxiety in those moments when panic takes over and you can’t stop the tears, and I would guess it makes the anxiousness worse to have to fear being overwhelmed by emotion on top of all the other worries.
I’m glad to hear that talking things through can be helpful, that’s precisely what we are here for…to listen and support you. You are welcome to use this forum whenever you need to express your thoughts, and we are also available to you in live chat from 6pm-11pm PST. I’m grateful that you found us, and I hope you’ll keep checking in when you need to