Reading your words, I get the image of someone treading water in a dark lake. It sounds like you been trying to find the shore for a long time now and you’re exhausted and fed up and in need of some love and support. I can hear how drained you feel and how one part of you is ready to give up and I wonder what have you done in the past to take care of yourself when you’re feeling this down?
I get the sense there is a war going on inside of you. On the one hand, suicide is on your mind and on the other hand, it sounds like you are longing to find another route out of your pain, another way to stop the thoughts that endlessly go round in your brain, so you can live a full life without so much hurt.
I get how despairing you feel and I want you to know we’re here for you both on the forum and on Youthspace Chat, which is open every night 6-11pm PST if you want to reach out to us in real time.
Thinking of you,