Welcome to the Youthspace Forum. I am sad to hear you are going through such a rough time. I imagine moving to a new country would be challenging and possibly very isolating. I can see how such a big change might feel destabilizing and really impact your ability to cope with both the day-to-day and your past.
From what you’ve said, you’ve survived a lot of abuse. No one deserves to be abused and I am sorry that happened to you. I get the sense that the abuse you experienced has left you feeling scared to open up and be vulnerable with people. It sounds as though you felt things were different with this guy and you were really hopeful and excited about a future with him. I can imagine how devastating it was to see him with another girl.
Constantly obsessing about this guy sounds as though it would be painful and frustrating. Tiring too- to be riding the wave of your emotions. I am guessing it is also frightening for you to not be able to control your thoughts. Have you had the experience of having thoughts play like a movie in your head that you can’t turn off before?
You mentioned you were looking for some tips on how to get relief from your obsessing. If you were interested, you could check out Calm Clinic (http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/treatment/relaxation) for some stress reduction activities and ideas that might be helpful? (They are designed with anxiety in mind but they can be used to for stress in general).
I am glad you reached out to us. I would totally invite you to use our chat service but unfortunately it is only available within Canada. However, our forum is open to you and we’re always here to listen and offer you support. I hope you’ll connect with us here whenever you need to.