No. I currently have no one who is aware of the situation or that can really help me right now. I don’t want them to be aware that I’m struggling at the moment. I’m tired of always depending on them and stuff. I usually feel like a burden for them cause I’m usually the one that helps them keep their life together. Or they usually don’t care to know to listen to me. I don’t know. I feel like anyone who is higher authority over me tends to show a fake care towards me, and I don’t like that feeling of being seen as a very weird kid, an outcast, something that’s very hard for me to explain.
I don’t think support can help me. I think I’m too far gone now for support to do anything to help me out. I’m just waiting for the uneventful day I finally might get peace, and stop hurting for once.
When this year started I knew that something was going to happen, something really bad. I didn’t know what it was, and I was really uncertain of it. When the school year started, this feeling hit me full force, and I knew what it was or what was going to take place for me. I was finally going to peak in to my insanity or I was going to die. Given a few circumstances you can say that both have and are going to happen.
Everyday it has been getting worse since September, my emotions would go to the max and stay there, the only thing I could do is push it aside and get back to the most important thing at the moment, like school, homework and surviving my life.
I don’t have a lot of connection to the month October other than that it’s my favorite month. The dates are the same way, other then the fact that in the middle of this week there is going to be a full moon…***
This week, is my final week. I have planned to die on these certain dates, but given anything I will commit on any day during this week.
***edited by support team for potentially triggering content.