Thank you for sharing your story with us. It sounds like your relationship with your body and with food has a long and complicated history that has occupied your mind for a long time.
I get the impression that the person you see in the mirror every day and the person your friends see in front of them is totally different. When your friends comment on how thin you are, you simply can’t believe them. Their reality is not your reality. You’ve gone to great lengths to structure your life around avoiding and getting rid of food — to the point that it’s interfering with your day to day life.
I can hear how the dress you bought gave you a glimmer of hope and happiness about your appearance, only to have this pleasant feeling snatched away by the realization that it was a size large. You mentioned that there’s a part of you that wants to break the vicious cycle you’ve been drawn in to — how do you envision that change beginning?
Feel free to continue to access support via the forum, or chat in to Youthspace between 6-11 PM Mondays to Thursdays, or 6-12 PM on Friday and Saturday.
The Support Team