I can really hear, Nie, how anxious you are about whether your past will affect your future goals (like finding a job). I imagine it’s scary to think that you will carry the weight of that past as though it is chained and locked to your ankle, holding you back from wherever you want to go next.
I would guess that you’re incredibly overwhelmed by the hardships you have had to face in your life, and that trying to cope with all that has in itself been stressful for you. I get the sense your coping has felt like treading water, that you struggle every day to keep yourself afloat and are running out of energy to keep going. Is there anything you’ve tried recently that helps you cope, helps you rest your weary arms and legs and keeps you floating without so much of a fight?
We’re glad you keep connecting as you try to find your way
The Support Team