I get the sense that things are pretty bleak…It sounds like maybe things have reached a level of stress where you just kind of shut down, and nothing seems to give relief except for sleep or the ease that some of the pills can bring. It’s really hard when you feel like it’s easier to be unconscious than conscious. :’(
Is it more that you’re feeling like you sleep to escape emotional pain that haunts you through each day, or that you are feeling just so completely numb and tired that nothing else seems possible?
You talk about taking pills, and I worry that you might take dangerous amounts sometimes without feeling in control (needing to dull the feelings?) — do you think you would be able to get some medical help if you ever needed it, if you took way too many?
I get the sense that you feel terribly trapped sometimes, and powerless. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
The Support Team