Tonight I am very sad I can’t do this I have tried my best I am thinking of ending it all because I don’t want to do this a couple of weeks it is my birthday and I sent out a e-mail to my careworker and her friends about me not wanting a birthday party without going in to much details I have lots of thoughts on my mind and I know I shouldn’t end my life and apart of me does not want to give up because I want to keep fighting and I Don’t like the idea of death but a part of me sees the pain and can’t take it I am thinking of the past and dark that looked and how dark the future is