I can hear that from where you are right now, it’s hard to look either forward or back; the past seems filled with hurt, and when you look at the future it’s filled with the pain of watching people get married and settle down. I can sense how it breaks your heart to feel like that kind of experience might not exist for you — and that you are forced to pretend that things are okay when you’re really crying at the injustice of being left out.
It sounds like even though you have plenty of “caregivers”, you feel a hole in your life because it seems like they are caring for you because it’s their job, and not because they really WANT to. You’ve been haunted by this feeling for a while, Dan, and I imagine that sometimes hope hurts as much as it might help. :’(
We’re here to listen to that pain.
The Support Team