Oh Dan, it sounds like everywhere you go, everywhere you look, there are couples, almost as if the world is TRYING to cause you pain. I get that every time you see a couple, it’s like a slap in the face emotionally, and all of the pain and loneliness comes rolling over you. I can hear how desperately you yearn to be in a relationship, and how endlessly barren life seems when you wonder whether you will ever have that experience. :’(
Your friend’s funeral must have brought up a lot of thoughts about death. It sounds like her padding reminded you of the heaviness and pain of life, and the relief that might come from death…. I know that we’ve talked on here a lot about your own thoughts of suicide, and I’m wondering if her death impacted the way that you feel yourself drawn to that darkness sometimes? Certainly I do hear the deep disconnect that you feel runs between you and other people, leaving you alone with so many of these thoughts.
It is hard to find something to fight for when everything hurts.
Here’s hoping that the camping was good…we’d love to hear how it was, and whether you did find it helpful.
The Support Team