To answer your question, we are open through the Christmas holidays with our regular hours (6pm-11pm Sun-Thurs & 6pm-Midnight Fri-Sat PST). Please do not hesitate to reach out to us via chat if you want to connect with someone.
I am getting the sense that you are feeling anxious about the holiday season. I can imagine that Christmas time brings up many emotions for you and that you are already beginning to feel overwhelmed by them.
I am hearing that you are currently feeling certain that you are not a person, but rather a job. It sounds like your day to day experiences with the people in your life do not feel very human and leave you with the impression that you are not a person but a machine that one performs their daily duties on. I can tell you honestly and from the heart that for me and the Youthspace team, you are as much of a person as anyone else out there. I am wondering if in the loop of ups and downs there are moments where you do feel more like a person and how do those moments look like for you?
It sounds like you are really struggling with your thoughts of suicide and questioning if life will be better for you and others if you are not around. It seems really painful to feel so alone despite the consistent flow of others. I can imagine you are missing the meaningful connections that come along with interacting with people. I get the thought that it must be somewhat like being trapped inside a fish bowl, watching the world around you but not getting the full experience. Your strength continues to inspire us.
Know that we are always here for you Dan,
The Support Team