Boxing Day does that mean the start of change is near yes Christmas is over I am almost there I completed another holiday but I am blown away that this next year in a dan day these next 12 hours which is a year is this the year I am going to blow up because I have lost people this past year and the weeks to come you ask me how do I keep fighting this war I don’t it is the medicine that slow my brain is that the best way that is why I am feeling so bad because I want some way I can feel loved in a relationship like my brothers and everybody else I am just the third wheel so on a scale of 1 — 10 without pills I am a 8:(