I get the sense that you’ve just finished climbing a big mountain (getting through the holidays) and now you turn around and see an even bigger mountain in your path for next year and all the difficulties it will bring you. It sounds as though you are desperate for some peace in your mind but there is none to be found anywhere around you.
I can hear the desperation you feel as you long for a meaningful relationship like the ones your brothers have and I’d imagine it’s achingly lonely to feel you’ll never find that person who brings you a sense of warmth and comfort. I can hear how much it hurts you to be the ‘third wheel’ in those other relationships when you dream of having that for yourself.
I’m wondering what scale you’re using Dan that you’re an 8 on? Is that a scale of depression/sadness? I get the sense that without your pills your situation is feeling much more overwhelming as your thoughts spin faster and faster. We are here to listen to you Dan and to support you through the thoughts and the hurt.
The Support Team