I hear you. It sounds like this mountain ahead looks impossible to climb from where you are. You know that you’re still emotionally drained from this last year, and the losses that you experienced, and that it will be harder than ever to make it through every day. An 8 is pretty darn high, and it reflects how little you feel ready to face this New Year, which could be so similar to the other years, another moment in an ongoing dan day. :’(
I can hear too, that the desperation to have someone there with you is SO strong right now, and that it feeds into the incredible heaviness that you’re feeling about starting this year. I can tell that not having your friend email you back is also wounding you very deeply, and reminding you of how disconnected you feel from people. I can only imagine how badly you want someone to really care about how you are, and how heartbreaking it is to see other people move on while you feel like you are stuck in the same moment, and the same pain.
Dan, this New Years sounds like it’s going to be awful for you. Thanks for letting us know about the fear and sadness you’re going through, and also that you are somewhat safe. Please chat in if you feel like you want us to help you more in the moment. You are very much in our hearts.
-The Support Team