Oh Jay, I am so glad to hear that you’re finding the good days are coming more often for you lately, although I would imagine when you are immersed in hard times, they aren’t made any less excruciating by being fewer and father between. I would guess you are feeling both relieved that there is a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel, and exhausted that the light still seems so far away from where you are right now.
I can hear how tormented you are by guilt that you might be laying more at your friend’s feet than he can sustain in your friendship…it seems as though you’re torn between meeting your need for companionship and meeting his need for autonomy. It sounds like you’ve been considering adding another support to your life in the form of a professional doctor or counsellor, and are weighing the fears you have of being rejected by a professional helper against the fear you have of losing the close connection you have with your friend. It can be a bit of a journey to find the right support professional, and I would imagine with everything else you have had going on for you lately it’s absolutely daunting to think of embarking on yet another big change. Know that we will continue to be here for you wherever that journey takes you
I’ve been really impressed by the level of self-reflection you’ve shown in your posts here…I can imagine that in some ways it’s frustrating to spend so much time and energy in your own head, but I can also see how it helps you to formulate plans of support by analyzing what has and has not been working for you. It’s an amazing process to see, thank you so much for continuing to share here for us and others. Here’s to a continued good day, indeed, and many more besides!
the Support Team