Thank you everyone for telling me that I am inspiring. I am just trying to be honest and open in hopes that exploring my thoughts will help me understand how to deal with them better.

The last couple days have been interesting. The sunny days seem to be helpful in my overall spirits. Its hard to be sad when the sun in shining through my windows. I’m trying to do something fun outside and enjoy the weather when I have time. Maybe if I catching some heat than I will sleep better at night.

Last night was average. I am still sleeping on average about 4 hours. There’s been a couple nights in the last two weeks that I slept the entire time. Last night was about 4. I am really confused and frustrated about how I can be functional throughout the daytime but at night I just can’t sleep. I can go through an entire day without any problems but 75% of the time I wake up at night crying. I just do not understand why I am doing that.

I am thankful I am productive and ‘happy’ (I don’t know if happy is the right word, maybe content is more accurate) during the day. On the plus side its been about a week since there was an incident where I couldn’t get out of bed during the day. Hopefully that keeps going.