That sounds terrifying. I’m so sorry that we can’t do more to remove the feelings of panic and precarious danger and uncertainty that you’re having — they seem so intense and raw that they are paralyzing. I can hear what you’re saying about fearing for your safety — it sounds like every moment, you’re aware of how fragile the balance is, and you feel like you might lose control at any second and end up hurting yourself very badly, or ending your life. We are very scared for you too, Sophiecdxx, knowing that you feel so little control because of the emotions.
I know that it’s incredibly hard to answer our questions about safety when you feel like your emotions are too much. You ask how we can help you stay safe? Our abilities are limited — as you know, we don’t give advice, and we believe that you know your life better than we ever could…but we can keep listening and supporting you on the forum, and on chat — the idea being that talking can help relieve a bit of the pressure – and when you chat, we can make safety plans with you directly that can help you make it through the moment. We can also contact emergency services on your behalf if you feel want. We WILL help you as much as we can…
I can hear how helpless you feel, how destructive your inner self threatens to become. I can hear that you’re afraid of that dark part of you that wants to harm you. I believe that there is a part that is still trying to live (the part that keeps reaching out here), and I wonder if you can think of anything that might help that part stop the darkness when it feels overwhelming? What (if anything) can you do to cling to calm when the clouds of panic start to descend?
Stay strong, Sophiecdxx. We are here, and we care about you very much. Please keep connecting with us.
<img src="smileys/heart.gif" width="" height="" alt="<3" title=" The Support Team