I don’t trust them. Actually, I don’t trust anyone these days, not even myself. It’s a scary thing to be able to actually think that.
I can sometimes feels that this rollercoster is coming towards it’s crashing point, and I try to hold on tight and forget about all the fights and just think about what’s positive. But it doesn’t work. People just keep on bringing me down.
I’ve called for help so many times this week, scared that I might hurt myself to an extreme. And all that people seem to think is to tighten the cord around me and cut my freedom because I’ve reached out to the police instead of them… That’s what bugs really, I think: the fact that I’m force to call someone when I feel in danger and that I can’t call my own ressources, or if I do, I get in deep trouble. It’s really annoying. And it makes me even more sad. It makes me feels as if no one understands me or wants to take the time to understand what I need, what’s going throught this dark world of mind…. I feel as if I’m always left alone with all of these emotions. I’m stuck feeling alone and really scared right now.