I do feel comfortable talking to my beau about these screams, he knows how bad they are getting and he is so scared to lose me.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t take these screams. I scare myself. They are forcing me to think and do things that I thought I would never do.
I kneed some help.
Actually, No. I don’t want any help. I just want people to understand how badly I am suffering and how I just want to whipe my tears for good. I don’t want to keep them, like I don’t want to keep this fake smile**. I just want to end evreything. Get everything done. And I fear that this day is soon and that I won’t be able to stop me.
I really don’t know what to do anymore.
Last time I Chatted in, I was on the edge to do something that maybe I would eventually regret one day.
But I actually just regret not doing anything.
I actually regret being still damn alive.
**Edited by the Support Team for triggering content