You must feel like you’re trapped in a nightmare right now. I can hear your fear that you might do something that you might regret…that the screams might cause you to hurt yourself. And yet at the same time that you fear it, it sounds like there’s also a part of you that wants everything stopping you to fade away so you can let go. Kind of like how you might be grateful on one level that your boyfriend is worried about you, but that there may be another part that wishes that he didn’t care, because it would make it easier to end your life.
That’s a terrifying place to be. It really speaks to the worthlessness that you’re feeling, as well as the unending emotional pain. :’(
I know that you regret not doing anything last time you chatted in, and that the pain you feel now is something that makes you wish you’d taken that chance. That must be an incredibly terrible feeling. It sounds like you doubt that things will ever get better, and it’s making life seem impossible, even if there’s a part of you that still yearns for better times. Please know that we honestly want to know how you’re feeling ANY time that you chat in. It can be really hard to express how awful things are in words, but we’re here to listen anytime you want to give it a shot.
<img src="smileys/heart.gif" width="" height="" alt="<3" title=" The Support Team