Welcome back to the forum. I’m sorry to hear that your birthday means returning to a situation that causes you so much distress and pain. I can really hear how much you’re dreading the arrival of the 31st. I’d imagine it would really hurt to be told that you make your family miserable even though you seem to know on one level that it’s a lie that you’re the reason for their misery. It seems like it’s awoken the negative voices inside your head all over again and thrust you back into an awful place that you’d hoped to leave behind.
I get the sense that you’ve been strong for so long Sophie and that you maybe started to feel safe in the strength while the voice was quiet. I bet it was really scary to hear that voice again after a period of silence in your mind. It sounds as though you’re feeling lost and lonely as the voices begin to speak again and that you’re really scared you won’t be able to hold onto those promises of safety.
We are here for you Sophie as long as you need us and we are also here every night if you want to chat 6-11pm PST.
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