Welcome to youthspace — I’m really glad you came here to talk. I can hear how excruciatingly painful things are for you right now… and it sounds like this torment has been weighing on you for a long time. :’( I imagine it must be exhausting to feel like no matter how hard you fight, it still feels like its one step forward, two steps back.
Oh SophRayne, I’m so sorry to hear you were sexually assaulted — no one ever, EVER deserves to be hurt like that. I imagine the bullying and harassment would force so many memories and fears to the surface every day…
It sounds like self harm is one way you’ve tried to deal with the huge weight you’re carrying — yet I’m sensing it’s not helping the way you want it to (and that maybe it adds to the confusion at times too?) You mentioned that you attempted suicide in the past… I’m so glad you’re okay. How’re you feeling about it now?
I can hear how desperately you’re wanting help and support… is there a particular kind of help that you’re seeking (we can direct you to resources if you want)? Regardless if you want a specific resource or not, we’re totally ‘hear’ for you to get out some of this pain you’re carrying around. We have the forum, and chat too, every night 6-11 pm on the west coast. Have you been able to get support from anyone else in your life?
Stay connected, and stay strong
The Support Team.