We’re glad to hear from you again, and we’re honoured that you’re sharing your story with us.
It sounds like you’re exhausted and fed up with being treated with so little respect — to the point where ANY escape from constantly being misunderstood seems like it would bring relief. The comments that your family makes sound like they leave you feeling demeaned and worthless, and that your mind is drawn towards death or running away as possible ways out of the pain…. Thank you for the update (and your honesty) about your suicidal thoughts, Green Lizard. I can only imagine how much emotional weight you were feeling when you wrote the message. I’m glad that you had a friend to help you get through that dark place. Obviously the pain is very real for you; how are you feeling now? How tempting do those thoughts seem?
I can honestly hear SO much of your unique strength and will to live in your words, and I can only imagine how frustrated you must feel to be driven to such emotional pain by the words of other people around you. Words really can harm, as can actions. It must be incredibly hard to face some people when you know that they might treat you like you’re invisible, like you don’t matter… You’ve mentioned that you don’t want to get support from anyone IRL; if you ever want another place to work through the feelings, there is also email counseling available on our website as well. I get the sense that your emotions are a tangled web as you struggle to find ways to keep going.
I think it is beautiful that you gather strength from thinking about the people that you could help…and I’ve noticed that you’ve already given really heartfelt support to some of our other users. Thank you for being there and sharing your heart.
We have never met, but you are not invisible here. We can hear your pain.
The Support Team