Hi blakey, welcome to youthspace.
I can understand why you put quotations around “best friend”. It sounds like what this person is doing is causing you emotional (and some physical) pain and confusion. I can guess you might be feeling pretty vulnerable and uncertain already with the depression diagnosis and your recent attempt to take your life, and it must be wearing you very thin to have to try and figure out your friend’s contradictory behaviour at the same time.
It sounds like you’re totally alone in dealing with this person, and that people around you don’t seem to see the way she hurts you. It makes me scared for you.
We don’t give advice here, blakey (who are we to tell you what to do?), but I can hear that you’re really looking for a way out of this situation. What do you think you would tell a friend to do if they were in the same situation you’re in right now?
We’re here for you. Please chat/text in (we’re open from 6-11 PST every night) if you are having thoughts of suicide still, or if you want to talk about your “friend” or depression. You can find the chat at the top of this page, or you can text us at 778-783-0177 if you’re in Canada.
-The Support Team