It sounds like Sunday was a horrifically tumultuous day for you DashingDaisy. I get the sense that you feel abandoned by M and unsupported by others in your life. I see anger, hurt, betrayal, and confusion in your words. I can hear how draining all these emotions have been for you, dragging you thru such a battle and leaving your mind and body totally depleted at the end of the day.
When you left off on such painfully poetic words I have to ask…are you thinking of suicide? Your references to internal death made me worry for your safety.
I get the sense that writing your feelings and documenting the events in your life is really important to you – maybe it even lightens the load? I want to let you know that we have edited out specific conversations, cos we feel quoting others here for all to see isn’t safe. The internet is a vast and wonderful place, and we want to keep the content here safe for everyone. I’m glad that you continue to post your story here, please don’t take offense if I try to refocus you on the emotional content
I also wanted to mention the memories or ghosts of your past that seem to be haunting you…are you finding any support for these scary memories? What helps you feel grounded in the present?
Know that we can are sending you cyber hugs
the Support Team