Well I’m back.
So a lot has happened in a little while.
I haven’t self-harmed in a while so I’m keeping my promise to my friends so far.
I’m actually starting to think my parents might know I self-harm.
A short while ago my mom helped me clean out my drawers where I had some stuff* I had used for self-harming a while back, I’m absolutely positive she saw it. I’m also sure both my parents have seen the scars.
It’s kind of strange though.
I’m still drinking. Although Way less.
I’ve stopped overdosing *. Mainly because last time I did overdose I got really sick and couldn’t breath properly.
A few weeks ago my boyfriend got sick (He has diabetes.) so he wasn’t there for the first two or three days of the school week. I was pretty worried about him because last time it happened he was in the hospital.
This time he wasn’t but when he got back to school he was so upset. I sat beside him and he didn’t say anything to anyone. I asked him if I should leave and he said no.
When I asked him if he was ok he said “No this just isn’t a good day for me to be around people.” and then he walked away.
After first block he was acting a lot happier and when I asked him what was wrong earlier he just said “Nothing I’m just a really good actor.” As in he was just acting like he was upset the entire time. But me and my friends knew that he wasn’t acting.
I didn’t argue with him though I just said I felt really stupid I fell for it and he said “I’m sorry I’m such a dick.” And since then he’s been extra supportive and caring.
I’m really nervous/anxious for some reason though and I had a panic attack last night so I’m trying to take it easy but I’m not really sure how to deal with it.
I have a major lack of sleep to the point of actually getting dizzy if I move to fast.
I’m really jumpy, skittish, and overall just really paranoid.
I’m just waiting for the next bad thing to happen.
*edited by the Support Team