It’s nice hear from you again, even if it means that things are feeling really chaotic. And I do get the sense that it’s been a head-spinning time for you in the last couple of weeks. The feeling of being anxiously unsettled seems to be looming really large in different parts of your life right now.
It sounds like in some ways, things have been feeling okay lately — and that it’s eased your mind some to decrease the drinking and overdoses and harming. It seems like it’s probably a relief to be able to live up to the promise that you made to your friends…. But on the flip side, it sounds like everything is nerve-wracking right now, and that maybe it’s really hard to handle without some of those coping methods. Is there anything that you’ve found that seems to help with the feelings of itchy nervousness and anxiety? You must feel run ragged by the fears that keep buzzing around in your head (especially since you’re so tired from the lack of sleep!) and I would imagine that it might be really hard to face stress about your boyfriend when you feel like something might be lurking — some kind of darkness about to fall.
It’s good that you’re allowing yourself to take it easy after the panic attack — it must have felt like a summation of the panic that’s floating around in you…I get the impression, with the panic attack, and the breathing problems you had with the overdose, that the emotions you’ve been experiencing have made themselves very real in a physical way as well. That must be super scary.
I remember that you mentioned previously having a lot of anxiety in your relationship because you felt as though you were having trouble trusting your boyfriend as much as you wished that you could. It must have been a hard moment for you when he told that he was just acting…how are you doing with that feeling of having trouble trusting him? It seems like maybe it’s also mixed up with a fair amount of worry for him, since he seemed to be feeling so low after being sick?
Terezi, I’m glad that you came here to talk about the things that are on your mind. I’ve seen you show a lot of strength in both supporting others here, and in looking out for your own state of mind. We’ll be here beside you as you ride through this storm.
The Support Team