Oh grenouille,
It sounds like everywhere you turn, doors are being slammed in your face. I can hear how badly you want someone, anyone, to stop tearing you down, and maybe take a moment to help build you up again.
It must be intensely difficult to feel like you can trust anyone at all, when so many around you have been so callous or even downright abusive (I hope you know that you DO NOT deserve to be treated like this). I would imagine that it’s incredibly exhausting and agonizing just trying to be around people, and to look for support, when some have hurt you so badly…
I get the sense that you’re somewhat disappointed in yourself for not being able to stand up to the way that they treat you. I’m guessing that there’s a feeling like “If I was just stronger, then things would be different”, and that it’s painful not only because of the malice they show you, but because you feel like you are responsible for some of it?
That’s a huge burden to bear, grenouille. We are here to listen if you want to talk more about it.
-The Support Team