March 7, 2013 at 1:40 am #16392
I guess I would be typically brandished as a geek and a loser,just because I excel at school and read a lot, but that’s another story. Right now I am under a lot of stress to be perfect. Everyone’s telling me this. My parents, grandparents, friends, class mates, coaches, and even my teachers. It’s gotten beyond the point of people telling me to reach my full potential, to more into the ‘forcing me to be perfect zone’, and I don’t like that zone. I can never take a break. I am constantly on the go, whether I’m practicing, working on a project, volunteering, or studying. I don’t think that they realize that I can’t be perfect. It’s not humanly possible, but try telling them that. Every time I sit down, they tell me to stop being lazy and get up and study or practice. I can’t bring myself to tell them they just need to leave me alone sometimes, and let me rest, but every time I try, I feel like I’m letting them down, and I don’t want to do that. How can I tell them that I need some time for myself sometimes, without disappointing them?
March 9, 2013 at 6:56 am #18673
Hi Talia Brook,
Welcome to youthspace! I can hear that you’re under a ton of stress right now… I’m really glad you came to talk on our forum.
It sounds like you’ve been trying to meet the expectations of those in your life for a long, long time now, but that every time you come close to that expectation of “perfect”, the bar just gets that much higher… it must get so exhausting to feel the never-ending pressure to work just a little harder, go just a little further — I can hear that it ends up feeling like you never ever get a break or chance to relax.
I’m getting that feeling too that lately, it’s gotten even more frustrating because it feels like you’re being squeezed into a really tight box of what others deem to be “perfection,” – but that that definition doesn’t fit too well with your own ideas of success. My sense is that you want to grow as a person and in new areas, but to do that, you need both time to relax and think, as well as the freedom to make mistakes… I’m hearing though that the pressure is so intense that mistakes don’t seem to be allowed..? :’(
On top of it all, I imagine that feeling like you’re disappointing people by not complying with their expectations really hurts your heart — and that it just adds to all the stress you’re under. Yet, it sounds like you don’t know how much longer you can continue pushing ahead on this path without a break.. Have you thought of any ways that you might be able to express how you’re feeling, and how that zone of perfection is impacting you? Is there someone in that list you mentioned that you’d feel safe trying to have that conversation with?
We’re here for you Talia Brook, take care.
The Support Team.
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