Welcome to our forum; your voice is a very unique one.
It’s interesting what you say about your habit of sucking your thumb. It’s obviously a lot more to you than just a habit – like over time it has been a part of the changes in your life, as well as a source of solace when times got confusing and stressful. I’m sorry to hear that you were picked on in school; it sounds like it changed you, and I can imagine it became harder to trust people. You mention having a lot of anger hostility towards people when you were younger. It sounds like that was an awful time.
It’s confusing to you that you’re unable to quit, when it seems like there’s no reason to be addicted. I know that we can sometimes be addicted to things because they help us feel better, help us cope with difficult emotions. I’m wondering if you feel like you still turn to thumb-sucking for comfort?
Here for you,
-The Support Team