It sounds like a truly scary world sometimes, and I can really understand why it feels so lonely for you – especially since you are hearing things and seeing things that other people don’t experience. I’m guessing that trying to deal with those voices and visions, and still get by in a world where nobody else sees/hears them is totally exhausting — and painfully distracting. It seems like you get so tired coping with the voices, etc that you have nothing left to try and face the emotions that you’re also facing. I can imagine how hard it is for you to think of making it another 12 days until the appointment with the psychiatrist. How do you think you might be able to help yourself get through those days?
I can hear how the psychiatrist is both a vision of help and hope and a fearful idea for you. One the one hand, he might be able to help you, especially in figuring out what to do about the voices…but on the other hand, you wonder if he might send you to the hospital. It sounds like going to the hospital would be largely unpleasant and unhelpful for you. It sucks that you’re stuck on so many waitlists while you’re in so much pain, grenouille19. And I can imagine that after waiting so long, this appointment is really important to you. That’s a lot of pressure to be feeling.
You’re in so much pain right now, and so confused and nervous about how things might go. We’re definitely here if you need us. Stay strong, grenouille19.
The Support Team