I’m really getting the sense that for you, happiness will come from finding meaning in your work and that there is little meaning to be found in cashiering. It sounds as though one part of you wants to squash your negative feelings about this type of job and just embrace the inevitable but an equal part of you is prepared to fight against what society is demanding of you in hopes of finding something more fulfilling in place of these societal expectations.
I can also hear that you have aspirations to go to university and find your passion through your education — and also that working as a cashier is an integral part of that plan in order to finance your education. I’d imagine it would feel frustrating to have big dreams that have to fit inside such a small box of opportunity in the near future. I can almost picture you bursting at the seams of the small life you’re being forced to lead before you can reach your destination.
I’m so glad that you’ve found our forum here Danielle and I hope you will continue to share your story with us here and reach out for support as you navigate these challenged of happiness and obligation. We are here to listen — and we also have a live chat nightly 6-11pm PST if you want come more immediate support from us.