July 15, 2014 at 7:14 am #16480DanielleMember
I’m having anxiety about getting a job. For me, getting a job is much more than just getting a job, it’s shackles, it’s a cage, it’s a commitment that will be difficult for me to make. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid to work, I’m not afraid of the labour. I’m afraid of getting stuck in that spiral of society, to work and consume, work and consume. Is that all there is to life? I never understood it, why people spend time doing things they don’t like in order to “survive” but what is the sense of wanting to survive if you have to keep doing things you don’t like? People work to live, but what is the sense of living, if all you’re gonna do is work? It’s stupid. That is the spiral of society, and I don’t want to get swept into that. I would rather have 5 years doing things I love rather than a 100 years doing things I hate. But despite my feelings, I know I have to get a job, society is impeccably designed to force you under it’s thumb. I know I need to get over these feelings, but it’s hard for me and I don’t even know how to. I need help.
July 17, 2014 at 5:45 am #19219YouthspaceModerator
Welcome to the youthspace forum. It looks like you needed a space to talk some things out, and I’m glad that you found us in the vast space that is the internet.
You’ve expressed some anxiety about the idea of getting a job, and I can hear how much deeper it goes than just not wanting to put in the time or energy. It sounds like for you, the idea itself feels ugly because it appears to equal buying into a cycle that you don’t agree with or feel is okay. Seems like part of the discomfort comes from the feeling that perhaps it’s inevitable to become just another cog in a machine that is designed to keep human beings passively working to survive in lives that they don’t really like. I can hear how little you want to be a part of a system like that (and I honestly think it’s pretty cool that you want to find a way of life that is more fulfilling to you). I suppose part of the anxiety comes from the way that, as you said so eloquently “society is impeccably designed to force you under it’s thumb”, and that we seem helpless against it?
You know that you need to get a job, and you’ve talked about having to get past these feelings…how do you think that you might be able to do that? Or, another question might be…how do you think that you could work but also feel fulfilled? What might that look like?
We’re here to talk it out with you…feel free to keep using our forum as you navigate some of the big questions and conflicts that are arising in your mind.
July 19, 2014 at 6:24 pm #19220DanielleMember
I just kind of want to be happy, and I know I won’t be happy doing everything society expected me to. I feel like everyone’s telling me to just shut up, get a job, get a spouse, buy a house, have a couple kids, and pretend to be happy like everybody else does, but I don’t want that. I suppose I feel very arranged and controlled by society, and I feel like getting a job is the first step of loosing all freedom over my life.
I live in a very small town, so there is not much opportunity for me to find a paying job that will make me happy. The only option I have is to work behind a cash register all day, until I can go to university and try to obtain a better, more exciting job. I want adventure, I want excitement, I want to be with nature, and working as a cashier is the farthest from that. The only way I can think of to deal with my feelings is just to suck it up, grin and bear it until I can actually do something about it.
I know me working as a cashier is inevitable, it’s going to happen eventually whether I get over my feelings or not, and I know I should stop worrying about it but it’s literally my worst nightmare, I need something more meaningful in my life.
July 21, 2014 at 2:28 am #19221YouthspaceModerator
I’m really getting the sense that for you, happiness will come from finding meaning in your work and that there is little meaning to be found in cashiering. It sounds as though one part of you wants to squash your negative feelings about this type of job and just embrace the inevitable but an equal part of you is prepared to fight against what society is demanding of you in hopes of finding something more fulfilling in place of these societal expectations.
I can also hear that you have aspirations to go to university and find your passion through your education — and also that working as a cashier is an integral part of that plan in order to finance your education. I’d imagine it would feel frustrating to have big dreams that have to fit inside such a small box of opportunity in the near future. I can almost picture you bursting at the seams of the small life you’re being forced to lead before you can reach your destination.
I’m so glad that you’ve found our forum here Danielle and I hope you will continue to share your story with us here and reach out for support as you navigate these challenged of happiness and obligation. We are here to listen — and we also have a live chat nightly 6-11pm PST if you want come more immediate support from us.
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